


You are beautiful. To me.

by Lauraaa22_21



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-12 17:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13552563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauraaa22_21/pseuds/Lauraaa22_21
Summary: Mark was living in hell too blinded by love to realize it. But when a certain someone steps into his life will he notice his misery and change his life for good?





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I'm back with a new story.  
> It has a different vibe than the ones before but i hope you still like it.

Chapter 1

There is a saying about not knowing what happens behind closed doors. That was the case for Mark.

 

He lived together with Joe for 3 years now . When they met the first time on campus Mark fell in love at first sight. He always had a thing for broad shoulders and muscular bodies. It made himself feel protected. But that wasn't the only thing that caught his eye. Joe was nice. Like really nice. He took him on a lot of dates, waited for their first kiss to happen when Mark was ready and always took care of his needs. He felt like living on cloud nine. Being treated like that made his heart flutter and when Joe finally asked if they wanted to move in together he immediately said yes. They had a lot of sex. Let's say Mark felt satisfied in all kind of sections. But something changed between them. To be more exact something changed in Joe. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it happened he only finally realized it when he landed on his butt after Joe slapped his face so hard he had to stumble backwards. Staring up at him he couldn't hold back the tears that began to form in his eyes because of the stinging pain. Joe stared blankly at Marks shaking form before he seemed to snap out of it. He leaned down taking Mark in his arms before apologizing many times. Calming down he decided it maybe was a one time thing. In every relationship something like this happened sooner or later ,right? Oh how wrong he was. It continued to happen at least every two weeks. And it took a hold of their sexual life too. Joe wasn't careful or gentle anymore. His moves where forceful and rough. It was more work than pleasure and most of the times he also forgot about Marks desires finishing his orgasm and just going to sleep leaving Mark staring at the ceiling still painfully hard and hurt. But Mark didn't do anything to change it . First of all because he was scared and second of all he loved him. As absurd as it sounds. Joe was his first boyfriend and his first love he couldn't just throw it away .

 

He made sure nobody of his friends took notice of his state or his bruises and it worked for a while. Jinyoung acted like always being overprotective over his best friend. He loved meeting him making him forget the things that happened at home. Joe always came together with him but he stopped a few month prioir due to his amount of work. But Mark knew it was because of the affair he had. He didn't meant to but he saw a message from a girl called Jessica on his phone when they watched a movie together. His first thought was her being a colleague from work but a second glance at the message made him realize it definitely wasn't " are you coming over today? I'm wearing the underwear you love so much" he tried to hold back the tears that were about to fall down. He was hurt , angry and sad at the same time excusing himself to the bedroom hearing Joe leave through the front door. It made his heart hurt to know he was being cheated on. But he suppressed it being blinded by the still existing love. At least on one side. But everything should change on the day Jinyoung would introduce a friend of him. Everything.

 

Hearing his phone vibrate he stopped cutting the onions to look who the message was from. Opening the chat he had to smile. 

Jinyoungie<3

Mark do you have time to meet up with me and Youngjae? We wanted to go drink some coffee at our favorite place and thought why not like the good old times. What do you say?

Mark smiled at the chat. In college the three of them were an indestructible team. Doing anything together but they had less time to meet these days. Youngjae was living together with his boyfriend Jaebum and they thought about adopting a kid which took away most of their free time while Jinyoung was an ambitious writer drowning himself in work. 

Mark

Yeah i would love that. Meet you there<3

Mark took of his apron putting the onions into a little container before heading into the bedroom. Joe was not there having to work until late in the evening but Mark knew that wasn't true. Going into the bathroom he put some concealer on the bruise on his neck to cover it up at least a little before grabbing his keys and jacket leaving for the café.

The weather turned into icy temperatures and in the time he arrived at the place his cheeks and nose were a bright red. Shuffling his way inside he looked around a little before spotting a bundle of black hair. Walking over to the table he saw them laughing at something the person sitting in front of them said and Mark realized he didn't knew him. Coming closer he noticed the stranger being really handsome and he had to snap out of staring when Jinyoung stood up hugging him. " Hey Mark glad you made it . Let me introduce you to one of my old friends . Jackson this is Mark , Mark this is Jackson" and Mark would be lying if he said he didn't notice the fond look the guy was giving him. He held out his hand for him to grab getting a fuzzy feeling when he felt his warmth on his own cold ones " nice to meet you" Jackson nodded " nice to meet you too" Mark sat down not wanting to ask why he was there but Youngjae saw it in his eyes and answered his unspoken question " Jinyoung ran into Jackson when he ordered coffee. Isn't this cool?" Mark just nodded looking at the card to choose something when he felt Jackson move closer, he saw him point at the caramel machiatto " if I'm allowed to i can recommend this one. It's really good. Sweet but still strong" "thank you" Mark was a little flustered at the attention but decided to order the one that was proposed when the waitress arrived. Once walking away Jinyoung cleared his throat before asking " so how is it going with Joe?" In the corner of his eyes Mark could see how the cheerful expression of Jackson faltered for a moment before he smiled again " everything is.... Great. But more important how is your work going?" They talked for at least 3 hours before they all decided to leave. But before they could part ways Jackson walked towards Mark " it was nice meeting you. You seem like a really nice guy i hope we will see each other more often from now on " Mark nodded saying his goodbyes before going for his house. He too was looking forward to more meetings. Jackson seemed to be a good person and maybe he wanted to know more about him.


	2. What now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well it's going down the drain real fast. Sorry.

Chapter 2

Returning home his phone made a notification sound before he could even open the door.

Jinyoungie<3  
Hey good news. I walked home with Jackson and we decided to celebrate my birthday at his place. I know it's sudden but i hope you will come.

Mark had to laugh a bit. It really was sudden. He , Youngjae and Jinyoung wanted to go to brunch together on Saturday. Well now it would be a party.

Mark  
Ok sounds good. Jackson seems to be a nice person. I will be there of course. Don't know if Joe has something planned. Send me the address <3

Searching for his keys he walked inside taking off his coat and shoes. He felt his hunger rise up when he walked in the kitchen and decided to continue the food he was about to make earlier. Turning on the light he jumped a bit seeing Joe sitting on the couch " Joe you're home already?" He walked towards him wanting to give him a kiss but he stood up from the couch ignoring his attempt " why is the food not ready? I'm hungry" Mark gulped " i was out with Jinyoung and Youngjae. I'm sorry" he squeezed his eyes ready to be slapped or screamed at but opening one eye he saw Joe on the phone smiling at some message. Mark felt his throat clog up . Sad to know somebody else could make him smile like that while Mark tried everything to get the love back he offered . "Joe?" He looked up waving his hand " just do it now" with that he sat down on the couch again. 

Mark cooked rice and different side dishes wanting this to be ready quickly. He himself didn't eat anything since the afternoon. Putting the plates on the table he called Joe over . They ate in silence , Mark spending time with staring at his boyfriend. Trying to get his attention but he didn't look up once from his phone " Joe Jinyoung is having a birthday party this Saturday. Will you come with me?" this actually made him turn his eyes towards him " I have to work. But i will come afterwards. Free alcohol is a good chance to lose some stress" Mark nodded sad that that was the reason he wanted to go and not to spend some time with him. 

Cleaning the table he felt how Joe wrapped his arms around his waist and he instantly relaxed. Missing the sweet touches he turned around . But Joe was faster connecting their lips rather roughly. There was no love just pure want. Heaving him up on the kitchen sink he attached his lips on his neck sucking on the bruise Mark had tried to cover up. He hissed in pain but Joe didn't care continuing his assault. It didn't take long until they moved their business to the bed where Joe just prepped him shortly before wanting to push in but Mark stopped " wait i want to use a condom" he knew what he said sounded harsh . They had sex for 4 years now but since the affair Mark wanted to move the safe way . Joe just huffed his breath before grabbing a condom putting it over his dick " satisifed?" . His behavior was so cold it made him tear up a little and when he pushed in he felt the tears roll down his face. Thinking it was the pain of him bottoming out Joe waited at least a few moments before moving not knowing he was crying because he was unhappy. Mark just let it happen not feeling any pleasure even when his dick was hard he didn't felt the need to release. He winced when Joe grabbed his thighs pushing them upwards a bit and he knew it would bruise the way his fingers digged into his skin. His movements were quick and his eyes never wandered over to Mark's. Instead he looked at the wall seemingly obserbed in his own world. The love Mark felt was no longer there. The flame burned down and now he finally realized it. 

 

Hearing Joe grunt lowly he knew he finished when he rolled off of him. Not caring about Mark he fell asleep immediately leaving him alone once again. Mark stood up trotting to the bathroom feeling the pain run up his spine. Turning the shower on he slipped under the hot water relishing the feeling of it on his hurting back. Looking down he saw his dick still being hard and he really didn't want to go to bed like this . Moving one hand towards his straining erection he began to move rather quickly. He didn't feel any pleasure , the movements were stoic and he just wanted it to be over. Nothing was turning him on . It always was Joe but nowadays he didn't feel like it. Closing his eyes he suddenly saw a flash of a bright smile and he felt his heartstrings tuck. Something in his stomach turned him upside down and he was coming all over his hand. Trying to calm down he tried to remember who it was he thought of when he realized it was Jackson. Jackson in " Jinyoungs old friend" shaking his head at his unbelievable behavior he moved back to the bed turning his back towards Joe and tried to fall asleep but it didn't work making him stay awake half of the night.


	3. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well let's say Jackson and Mark get a bit closer <3

Chapter 3

Happy wasn't even enough to describe the thing Mark felt when Saturday arrived. The last days were hell. After Joe slept with him he started to be more of an asshole than he already was and they had a huge fight the night before the party ending in Mark getting slapped again. This time the hit drew blood. His cheek had a cut due to the ring Joe wore and he didn't even care about it . He just heaved like some maniac and left the house. Mark had to take care of the wound and disinfect it. The pain was endurable but still it stung. When he woke up on Saturday Joe still didn't return and somehow Mark was more than relieved. 

He was currently baking some cupcakes as a present for Jinyoung when his alarm went off . Reminding him to get ready. He put the frosting he prepared into the fridge before walking in the bathroom to take a quick shower. Standing in front of his closet he decided to wear something fitting for a party. Dressing nice was not new for him but the last years his interest lessend Joe not even complimenting him for his new jeans or shirt . So the red blouse that hang right before his eyes was the perfect thing to wear. It had little imprints in the collar and the whole shirt was made of velvet laying comfortably against his skin. Taking one of his skin tight jeans he decided to wear them instead of the sweats that were his daily object of choice. He sat down at his little desk to put on some make up. Chossing just some concealer for the bags under his eyes he tried to put some over the cut but he hissed at the slightest contact. " Shit" he looked in the mirror sighing. Grabbing his lip balm he put it on before styling his brown hair a bit. He walked in the kitchen finishing up the cupcakes before writing Jinyoung a message

Mark  
I'm on my way :)

Arriving at the address he got send a few days earlier he had to catch his breath. In front of his eyes was an apartment block in the middle of gangnam. It was huge and looked expensive. Mark had to snap out of his trance when a car honked behind him making him jump to the side. Walking into the entrance hall he waited for the elevator to open before he skipped inside pressing the button. Once it opened again he was greeted with relatively loud music and he immediately knew to which door he had to go. Knocking on it he waited a few seconds before Jinyoung opened it jumping in his arms " Markii I'm so glad you're here" Mark hugged him back the best he could with the cupcakes still in one of his hands " Happy Birthday Jinyoung. Here i made you these" he held them towards Jinyoung putting one hand into his jacket pocket to pull out a lighter " just..wait a moment" he lightened all of them up having them arranged to look like a 23 " make a wish" Jinyoung seemed moved but closed his eyes before he blew them out giving Mark a kiss on the cheek " i love you" " i love you too" Jinyoung smiled before rubbing at his eyes a bit " ok come on in " he pushed Mark inside taking of his coat and stared at his choice of clothes " wow you look so good" He blushed " thank you. I thought dressing up today would be a good idea. It's a special day" Jinyoung nodded before staring at his face he frowned moving one hand up to the cut " what happened?" Mark sighed " nothing bad. A cup fell down and one of the pieces cut my cheek" he knew his excuse sounded ridiculous but he couldn't just say ' yeah my boyfriend slapped me again like nearly everyday but this time he forgot to take the ring off' . Jinyoung nodded in understanding before leading Mark into the kitchen where Jackson stood with their back to them " Jaebum and Youngjae are in the living room and this one over there is Jackson . Hey" he yelled a bit making him turn around . Mark saw the movements of his eyes gliding over his body before he looked him in the eyes " hello Mark nice to see you again. If I'm allowed to say you look really good" he came closer giving him a quick hug " nice to see you again too Jackson" he stepped back smiling at him gently before his eyes caught the cut " oh what happened?" Mark stroked over it slightly wincing at the touch " just a cut from a cup that fell down" Jackson frowned but let go after a few seconds " do you want to help me prepare the food?" Nodding he was lead to the kitchen sink where Jackson handed him an apron . Putting it on he couldn't reach the ends and before he noticed Jackson was standing behind him knotting it " here let me help you" his heart skipped a beat. It was long ago that he was treated this nicely and it felt good. 

They fell into a rhythm of cutting vegetables and fruits before Jackson spoke up again " so where is your boyfriend? I heard Jinyoung say you're in a relationship?" Mark froze a bit at the mentioning of Joe " yeah for four years now. He ...had to work. But he will try to come afterwards" he briefly smiled at Jackson before turning back to the cutting board " tell me something about you. What are your hobbies?" Mark laughed " my hobbies?" He saw him nodding regerously " ok hmm i like to watch movies and cook. But i also love to play games like Tomb Raider or Resident Evil" Jackson snorted before answering " are we in any kind of way soulmates? You literally just said the things i also love" Mark shyly smiled at the mentioning of the bond before licking his lips which were getting rather dry due to his nervousness " maybe we are" he said making Jackson smile and once they were finished with the food he helped him out of the apron again before both walked into the living room. Jackson announced that the buffet is open and Mark literally had to jump aside to not be ran over by all the people. He saw Jaebum and Youngjae in the crowd greeting them shortly before deciding to get something to eat for himself. Chossing from the various things he settled down on one of the big couches. Digging into his food he saw Jinyoung and Jackson walking towards him before seating themselves next to him . They talked about everything and nothing until Jinyoung stood up again having to greet the new guests leaving the both alone. Jackson turned sideways to have a good look at Mark before speaking " you know what? We should make a movie night. You me and Jinyoung. Maybe Youngjae and Jaebum too. I don't know about your boyfriend but he can come if he wants" Mark noticed the underlying tone when he mentioned Joe and somehow the image of him not being there was inviting ,nodding he answered " i would really like that. But only if i can choose the movie?" He grinned making Jackson fondly look at him " i like you're smile" Mark shyly tugged his hair behind his ear thanking him. Compliment were rare these days. Joe didn't mention one in the last month and it was refreshing. But before they could talk further he saw a large body walking towards them . Turning his head he realized it was Joe who was looking a little irritated " Joe you're here-" " who's that?" He spitted " that is Jackson. He is a friend of mine " Joe laughed " a friend? Ok you wanna play that game " he grabbed Marks wrist pulling him up and dragging him to the door " joe what are you doing?" He saw Jackson following them before he heard his voice " hey let him go you have no right to do this " Joe huffed " I'm his boyfriend. I can do whatever i want" Mark was near crying. The whole situation was so horribly uncomfortable with all the people staring at the scene " Jackson it's ok..i will just go home with Joe. Sorry" he put on his jacket before moving out of the door. Jackson stared for a moment before turning towards Jinyoung " what was that?" " That was Joe. He is an asshole. He wasn't all the time but he changed" Jackson frowned thinking back to the cut " Jinyoung you don't think that maybe..he did this right?" Pointing at his own cheek he saw Jinyoungs eyes being filled with unspoken hurt " Jackson...i ... I don't know. But to be honest it can be true. Mark changed. He used to be so happy and in love now he is just...sad. I hate this" Jackson nodded feeling the anger rise in his chest a bit before staring back at the door.


	4. Observation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well it only get's worse. We have a long hard way in front of us until it get's better. Sooo sorry :/

Chapter 4

Joe literally dragged Mark back to his car opened the door and pushed him inside rather harshly. Going to his own seat he closed the door starting the car before driving towards their home. Mark was too afraid to say anything so he just nibbled on his nails until he could see their apartment . Unbuckling his belt he followed Joe who was walking rather fast until they were at their door. Turning the keys in the lock Joe suddenly pushed Mark inside shutting it with his feet. He came closer making Mark already whimper in preparation what was about to happen . He left a whiff of wind before his hand landed on his cheek making his cut burst open again. He had to cry out at the sting immediately putting his hand over his cheek out of reflex " don't you know i know what you did back there? You were fucking flirting with that guy you slut" Mark looked up at the harsh words " i didn't flirt with Jackson " " stop fucking with me i saw how your eyes literally sparkled" Mark began to cry it was all too much and he bottled up all his emotion no longer being able to hold it back he shouted " you know what? I was happy in that moment he made me a compliment. Something I've been missing from you since months. Why are you this way? I love you with all my heart and you act like an complete asshole" Joe looked at him shocked before Mark could see the anger flare up " what did you say? I don't fucking care what he did. And i don't care what you think. You are mine " he walked closer grabbing Marks collar and pulled him up so that he was hovering over the ground a bit " don't you dare speak like that again towards me" he let him fall back on the ground before grabbing his keys and leaving for the door " I'm going to sleep at my workplace. And just so you know it on Monday i will go on a business trip for the whole week with our partners. Enough time for you to think about your words" with that he slammed the door leaving a shivering Mark behind.

 

Taking a few minutes to calm down he began to stand up again. He knew what the business trip meant. One of the partners of their company had Jessica under contract. He knew everthing but he didn't open his mouth until now. Feeling sick to the stomach he ran to the bathroom thinking he had to throw up but after a few minutes he realized it was his his heart that caused the feeling. It had broken into pieces completely. Sinking down on the floor he began to cry until he was so exhausted he fell asleep. The next time he woke up it was already morning and he felt how his bones hurt. Standing up he had to sneeze and realized with one look in the mirror he looked like shit. His eyes were red and puffy and the cut on his cheek looked even worse. The blood had dried and around it his skin was glowing in all types of blue. Slightly touching it he had to pull back. Glad his job was home based and he didn't have to face anyone he took off his clothes to take a shower. Once done he wrapped himself in one of his oversized sweaters and shorts which were hidden under the size of the pullover. Sitting down on the couch he felt lonely to say the least. His relationship was once so full of love and gentle touches now it was just like an ice cube between them. Putting the comforter over his legs he grabbed his phone to text Jinyoung

Mark

Can you come over?

He waited a few minutes before it ringed again unlocking it he had to smile. Jinyoung was the one person he could count on.

Jinyoungie<3

I will be there in 30 minutes.

He was about to lay the phone aside when another message came

Jinyoungie<3

Mark I'm with Jackson right now. Is it ok if he comes with me?

Mark

Yeah it's ok

And it really was ok. He kind of started to like him. Laying down on the cushion he made sure his bruised cheek didn't get in touch with the fabric but he realized he had to at least cover up the blue on his face too tired to explain his current situation. Sitting down again after putting on some make up he turned the tv on watching some cooking show until he heard the door ring " come in . The door is open" he yelled not wanting to move. Hearing footsteps coming closer he looked up seeing Jackson smiling at him " hi there " Mark smiled even if it wasn't visible under the blanket " hi" hearing another set of footsteps he felt Jinyoungs hand stroke through his hair " so what happened?" Mark sat up wrapping the blanket around himself before answering " we had a fight. He will be on a business trip from Monday to Saturday and i just needed someone to talk to" he sighed not wanting to look at their faces before he heard Jackson cough " did he you know " he was pointing at his face but Jinyoung cut it short shaking his head and holding a finger to his mouth , Mark looked up at the sudden silence " what?" While Jackson just shaked his head " nothing" moving beside him he grabbed the remote " should we watch something together and order food later? It will be on me" Mark comically opened his eyes moving his hands in the same motion as his face " you don't have to i -" " it's ok i want to. So what should we watch?" Jinyoung sat on the other side laying the blanket over himself and hushed Jackson to do the same. This way they cuddled all having Mark safe and sound in between them " how about a movie on netflix?" Jinyoung suggested and the other two nodded. They choose some action movie. And not half an hour in Mark fell asleep leaning his head on Jackson shoulder unintentionally. He snored peacefully being able to nap good since a long time. He felt safe and the warmth around him made him feel at ease. 

Jackson looked towards Jinyoung pointing at Mark and making him smile " yeah he is asleep" he whispered and Jackson nodded before smiling down at him fondly . Jinyoung was getting a bit suspicious and he just had to ask " Jackson can it be that you like Mark?" " Yeah i like him. He is cute and really really nice" Jinyoung frowned " but you know he has a boyfriend.." shrugging he answered " yes i do dummy that wont suppress the feelings i have. But don't worry i wont be getting in the way of their relationship even if i think it's unhealthy" Jinyoung understood where he was coming from but he also knew Mark loved Joe. At least he thought he still was in love with him. Not wanting to take the discussion to the next level he looked back at the tv .

Some hours later Mark felt a touch on his hair making him snuggle into it. The fingers stroking over his scalp made him relax in a way he thought he forgot. The fingers moved down to his unbruised cheek before he heard a voice making him open his eyes slowly . Looking around a bit disoriented he saw Jackson smiling at him and it was such a genuine grin he just had to answer it with one of his own " food is here . Jinyoung ordered some of your favorites" " ok" he sat up properly stretching a bit before moving to the kitchen realizing on the way he only was in his oversized sweater and shorts. The cold breeze around his legs brought him back to reality. He knew that it must have looked like he didn't wear anything under it and he saw the way Jackson eyed him before shyly looking away , turning his head towards Jinyoung who smirked and he just felt the need to explain himself so he raised his pullover revealing his black shorts " I'm wearing something underneath" he blurted out blushing before he heard both laugh and he definitely heard Jackson whisper " so cute" but he didn't say anything. Stopping in his movements he remembered the bruises on his thighs from the last time he had intercourse with Joe. Pulling on the edges to cover up he sat down at the table awing at the many dishes " omg i don't know where to start" he laughed before choosing the soup. After a while he got thirsty being entranced in the conversation they had he unconsciously walked to the cupboard reaching out for the glasses . 

 

He talked during it until he heard no longer anything. No laugh no words nothing. Frowning he turned around only to see both of them staring at his legs " what?" Jinyoung pulled on his sweater pushing it up to take a closer look and Mark was to slow to stop him " what are those?" He stroked over the red bruise on the inside of his thighs and he felt so exposed seeing the eyes on him he just began to babble what came first in his mind " you know Joe is a little rougher when we have sex. I never saw them until now. Maybe he just grabbed a bit harder than usual. I don't know " he awkwardly laughed trying to make his lie believable but he saw the irritation in both of their faces " this looks like it hurt a lot Mark. You can't tell me you didn't feel it" Jackson said and Mark wasn't sure if he saw right but there was something like a flicker of anger in his eyes " as i said i didn't felt it and i saw it just now so let's continue eating ok?" They ate in silence afterwards. No one was in the mood to talk and it made Mark uncomfortable. Was he at fault? Did he mess up again? He put his empty container into the trash before moving to the couch" can we continue watching the movie? Please?" Jinyoung and Jackson looked at each other before Jinyoung spoke up " i actually have a meeting in the morning I'm sorry Mark i can't-" but he was interrupted by Jackson " i can stay if you want. I have a free day tomorrow" Jinyoung was grateful for his move and he looked at Mark waiting for him to answer " ok sounds good" he said before turning on the tv again. Jinyoung said goodbye leaving the two alone and Jackson walked over putting the blanket over both of them again. It didn't take long for Mark to fall asleep for the second time the exhaustion was clear on his face and Jackson couldn't see him laying this uncomfortable so he walked him bridal style to his bedroom laying him down before putting the blanket over his form. He himself went for the safe option not wanting to leave him alone so he laid down on the couch grabbing some of the cushions and the blanket before falling asleep himself.


	5. Why

Chapter 5

 

Mark woke up in the middle of the night having a dry throat. He sat up rubbing his eyes before standing . Still sleep deprived he walked into the kitchen opening the fridge to get some water when he heard footsteps. Thinking he was mistaken the sound for rain or something like this he took a sip of his glass when a deep voice said his name. Turning around he only saw a shadowed person making him jump " oh my god" stepping a bit back he slipped over the floor losing his balance when strong arms wrapped themselve around his waist pulling him into a warm chest. Paralyzed for a moment he looked up only to be mere centimeters away from Jacksons face " easy there. I don't want you to hurt yourself" Mark stared into his eyes still being overwhelmed by the intimacy between them. His last hug was month ago when Joe made a huge deal at the company. Sad thing was that he initiated it. Wanting to relish the feeling some more he almost returned the hug but slapped himself back to reality. He couldn't do this. He was in a relationship and being this intimate with someone different felt good. It surprisingly felt good. He didn't feel bad or anything. Still he took a step back before looking up again " you scared me. I didn't know you were still here" Jackson scratched his head before answering " i was sleeping on the couch is that ok or should i leave? I don't want to impose on you" Mark giggled a bit at him explaining himself " no no it's ok. You can sleep here" he walked back to his bedroom turning around one last time " good night". 

Feeling a bit strange he laid down putting the blanket over himself again. Looking at his phone he didn't get one message from Joe since the fight. Not even an hello. Sighing he turned around thinking a bit before he fell asleep again. The next morning he immediately walked into the living room after waking up wanting to know if Jackson was still there. To his surprise he was sitting on the table reading something on his phone " good morning" looking up he smiled " good morning to you too i hope it's ok i'm still here. I didn't want to just leave without saying bye" Mark returned the laugh wincing when he felt his cheek burn. Closing his eyes he gently rubbed over it to reduce the pain a bit " no no it's ok don't worry" he turned around grabbing a bowl and made himself some cereals sitting down he saw Jackson staring at him " i think the cut got worse Mark. It's blue" stopping in his motions he put a hand over his cheek realizing the make up must have been smudged while he was asleep " does it? Oh" he looked everywhere but Jacksons eyes hoping he wouldn't ask " how do you feel? Any better than yesterday? I know fights can be pretty disgusting" he took a big spoon of his cereals gulping them down before answering " to be honest no i don't feel better. Joe and I we ... fight a lot these days. I love him but it's tiring me out" he saw Jackson nodding " should we do something together today? To distract you?" Mark wasn't opposed of the idea. He really could use time away from his thoughts. Knowing Joe was definitely together with Jessica right now he sighed " yeah let's do that. What do you have in mind?" Turning around his phone he showed him the shopping mall district " let's go shopping a bit " . 

Putting his bowl away he put on some different clothes and styled his hair a bit. Looking in the mirror he realized his cheek really looked worse than last time. He grabbed some concealer putting it on before going back in the living room " we have to stop at my house on the way. I need to change too" Mark nodded before both walked to his car. The ride was silent most of the time. Jackson saw Mark looking at his phone a few times sighing. " Is everything alright? You keep sighing" " yeah I'm ok. Just Joe didn't text me one thing since Saturday" Jackson frowned before turning on the radio " music always helps me calm down and relax" he smiled before concentrating on the road again. Mark was thankful to say the least. The thoughts kept nagging his mind and it was tiring. Once at Jacksons apartment he quickly ran up and before they knew it they were at the shopping mall.

" Ok where do you want to go first?" Mark just shrugged " i don't know" the last time he was at this district he bought a new tie for Joe which he didn't even thank him for. " Ok then let's go into this shop there" Dragging Mark behind him he saw they were walking into a costume shop " really?" " Yeah it will help lighten your mood. Come on let's dress each other" . The shop was rather big and it was sorted in categories. Mark immediately walked into the fantasy one. Always had liked everthing with myth. Looking around he saw Jackson searching through the costumes and had to laugh. He looked so concentrated. Strolling through the lines his eyes caught a pirate costume " this is perfect" . Going back to Jackson he handed him the fabric " here for you" Jackson looked it up and down before giving him a cat outift " and this one is for you" being rather shocked at the black silk he wanted to say something but Jackson was already walking towards the changing rooms. Once in one himself he took a closer look at the costume. It was just a black onsize with cat ears . It wasn't that "bad" . Changing into it he walked outside waiting for Jackson to come out " Jackson I'm ready" a few moments later he saw the curtain moving and then he had to blink twice. Jackson was looking really good. The shirt was hanging off his shoulder a bit and his chest was showing to some point " wow it suits you " Mark said looking up in his eyes only to see Jackson stare at him with his mouth open " what?" " Mark you look so cute " that caught him off guard making his face turn into a tomato. Jackson realized his words seeing Marks face " I'm sorry i didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. But it's really cute" he knew the next words would hurt him but he still said them " Joe would definitely like it" Mark looked up at the mentioning of his boyfriend " do you think so?" Maybe it would help their relationship " yeah i would like it" Mark smiled " ok then i will buy it. But you need to buy the one you're wearing too. It looks good" walking to the counter he payed for the costume before turning around " what to do now?" Jackson smiled " I'm buying you lunch" " what? No Jackson i can pay for myself " Shushing him he said " i want to . What do you want to eat?" Mark nodded before thinking a bit " what about hamburgers?" " Sounds good to me. Let's go" .

 

Walking to the food district Jackson told Mark to sit down while he would go grab the food. There were many people eating and Mark felt at ease somehow. He never felt this relaxed since a long time. Looking around he saw Jackson coming back with the food " here you go. Dig in" " thank you again. I'm having a lot of fun" Jackson just smiled while unpacking his burger " no problem. I'm glad you feel a bit better....can i ask you something though? " Mark was already eating the burger answering through the food " of course" " can we be friends? I really like you as a person" Mark gulped down the piece of meat before grinning " to be honest i already thought we were friends" Jackson had to smile " that are good news. Then it's official. Should we exchange phone numbers?" " Sure" Mark handed him his phone while typing in his own number into Jacksons. They talked a bit before deciding to drive home . Jackson said his goodbyes driving towards his own place while Mark walked up his apartment. Opening the door he saw Joe sitting on the couch " Joe? What are you doing here?" He looked up walking towards him " the trip was cancelled. More important where were you?" Mark realized mentioning Jackson wouldn't be a good idea even if they were only friends so he choose the safe option " i was shopping. I bought something for you. Should i change into it?" Joe stared disinterested " whatever" sitting down again he looked at his phone . Mark held back the hurt emotions that bubbled up before going into the bedroom changing into the costume. Walking back into the living room he coughed a bit trying to get Joe's attention " I'm done". Seeing him turn around he wiggled a bit on his feet waiting for a reaction " what is this? " He looked up explaining himself " a cat costume. I thought you would like it" Joe stood up walking over to him to rip off the cat ears " you look stupid " Mark was sad to say the least and the tear that rolled down his face couldn't be hold back " why are you so mean to me? I don't understand it. We used to be so in love. Don't you love me anymore?" Joe looked irritated before answering " you're imagining things. We are good so stop making up lies" he sat down again ignoring Mark completely while he himself walked back in the bedroom taking it all off . On the verge of crying he sat beside his bed when his phone ringed 

Jackson :)

Hey i wanted to make sure this is the right number. Soo what are your plans for Friday? Do you want to go to a party with me and Jinyoung? It's held by my company :)

He had to smile a bit at the way Jackson saved his name in his phone before answering

Mark

Don't worry it's the right number. Sounds good to me.. Joe is back. The trip got cancelled and we are still on bad terms.

Oh how he wished he could just write him how unhappy he was. The whole situation only got worse by each day. 

Jackson :)

Oh ok . Well then the party would be a good opportunity for some time away from him? See you there

Mark

Yeah see you .

Putting the phone aside he decided to go to sleep not wanting to wait for Joe to come. Sleep luckily found him rather fast and he was soon off to dreamland .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will see if going to the party without Joe is a good idea. :/


	6. Whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to say anything beforehand but just let you guys now we get some action . In the good way.

Chapter 6

 

It was the first time in a while that Mark had a meeting outside his room. And it was surprising it did end this early. Normally it took around 7 hours. Talking about the new items they had to produce and sell. Mark was in charge of checking the e-mails and contact the clients. It was something he could easily do at home on his laptop but once in a while he had to meet with his boss and partners. Like now. Saying his goodbyes and wishing everyone a good start in the weekend he grabbed his bag and went for his car. The party would start in about one hour so he still had enough time to get ready. He was excited to say the least. After the discussion with Joe he really needed some distraction .Driving down the highway he watched as the sky turned dark and all the lights began to light up . It was beautiful and he realized he barely took notice of things like this. It didn't take long for him to park in front of his and Joe's apartment and he wondered if he already was home. He himself was earlier than expected but for his boyfriend to be home before him was ridiculous. Turning the keys in the lock he walked straight into the kitchen having to drink some water. 

Mark took off his jacket putting his bag on the first stool that was in sight before he opened the fridge. While he took a sip he heard a noise making him stop in his movements. After a few moments he heard it again. It was a man's voice. Joe's. Frowning he walked to the room where it came from realizing it was the bedroom. Once he got closer he could see the door being ajar a bit and he walked a bit faster wanting to surprise him when he heard a deep grunt. He stood still not being able to move anymore . He really didn't want to but he had to look through the door and when he did he felt how his throat clogged up. His breath became short when he saw Joe sitting on the bed with a blonde girl between his legs. Paralyzed he stared at Joe's face which was contoured in pleasure and for once his eyes were looking at the person in front of him. Not like with Mark when he just stared at the wall . He felt tears sting in his eyes when he heard the girl speaking " is it ok to do it here? I mean your boyfriend could come home any moment" Joe just laughed " don't worry about him. Just get back to work" seeing how the woman laughed sinking back down he started to cry. Silent tears fell down his face. Of course he knew about the affair. He knew about the girl. But seeing it in front of him hearing how Joe used to talk about him was way worse. 

He didn't realize he was outside only when he nearly ran over a red light. His feet just started to move dragging him towards an unknown place. Paralyzed he felt the tears still traveling down his cheeks when the cold air hit his face. Not looking around just staring straight ahead he wondered how someone like him deserved such treatment when he suddenly stood in front of Jacksons company. Clear enough to greet the concierge who asked for his name he walked into the hall where the music was already blasting. He was still in his working clothes and he didn't write Jackson or Jinyoung that he already was there. Mark decided walking to the bar was the best decision in the moment. Ordering something he didn't even know he gulped it down ordering a second shot. Just wanting to numb the pain that was bothering his heart. Not realizing he was drinking for an hour already he sat back in the chair when a hand touched his shoulder.

Through his blurry vision he could make out Jacksons face and his hushed voice " Mark what happened...you look soo bad" a breathy laugh left his lips before he looked him in the eyes. Of course he felt bad. Seeing the one you're together with fuck with someone else right before your eyes was crap. But the worst was he already knew he did it. No coherent words left his lips . Closing his eyes for a moment he looked up at him again and he somehow had the strong urge to kiss him. Not knowing were it came from he wobbly stood up grabbing Jacksons collar and pressing his lips against the others ones. He vigorously wanted to feel something else than the pain he already knew too well and he continued to leave kisses on his lips when he felt a gentle hand around his waist pulling him in . Jackson was kissing him back and hell that wasn't what he expected. Feeling his other hand coming in touch with his cheek and stroking over his bruise made his heart swell and he felt the salty taste of tears coming in between the sweet and careful kisses Jackson gave him. It were calm sensual movements that sparked something in his stomache. He moved his hands into Jacksons hair stroking through it carefully when he suddenly realized what he was doing. No he couldn't do this. He wasn't a cheating person even though the relationship was already destroyed. And he didn't have the heart to drag Jackson into all this shit hurting him in the process. He was such a good person. He just couldn't do it. Pushing him away gently he hiccuped rubbing at his cheek to dry at least some of the tears before he spoke up " I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" he saw Jackson wanting to say something but he just turned around heading for the exit but before he could reach it he felt the dizziness taking over his body . The last thing he felt was a pair of arms catching him and then he was out of it.

The next time he woke up it was still dark. But this time because of the curtains in front of the windows. Looking around he realized he wasn't at home and fear shot through his system. What happened last night? What did he do? Suddenly being aware of the headache he massaged his temples hearing a gentle knock on the door. Coming inside was Jackson with a tablet full of food and coffee " Good Morning Mark how are you feeling?" Looking at his form he just nodded " not so good to be honest " he sat down at his feet putting the tablet into his lap before handing him an aspirin " here take this . It will help against the hangover" Mark nodded before swallowing it down . He looked at him when he suddenly remembered what happened the day before. He felt the blush creeping up his face thinking back to Jackson kissing him back. Why though? Scratching his neck he put the glass down before apologizing " Jackson... I'm so so sorry for my behaviour yesterday and that i kissed you. I didn't mean to i... I don't know... I guess it was the alcoh -" Jackson put his hand up shushing him " Mark it's ok. Stop apologizing. More important what happened that you needed to drink so much? You cried a lot" he was looking at him with fond eyes and Mark couldn't face him. " I just felt bad. It wasn't a good day" " stop lying Mark. I can see that that isn't the truth" staring at his form he became nervous. Scared to tell someone about his and Joe's situation he began to look around moving his eyes so the tears that stung behind them wouldn't roll down. " Its... difficult" he heaved " i can't just talk about it" Jackson sighed but in a knowing kind of way " let me ask you something" he felt his hand on his cheek stroking over the cut " did your boyfriend do this?" Mark shaked his head already knowing the lie that would come out of his mouth would taste like poison " no. As I said it was a cup that fell down. Can we talk about something different?" He knew Jackson knew he was not telling the truth and he also knew that Jackson knew he was right. 

Suddenly feeling rather uncomfortable to be put into the corner he stood up realizing he only was in a huge sweater and his underwear looking at it he heard Jackson say " it's mine. You can keep it. Give it back whenever you want" Mark nodded before putting his jeans on not wanting to longer talk about it. The tension in the room was suffocating him and he just needed to walk out before he spilled the truh " Thank you again .. i need to leave now" he waved briefly walking rather fast out of the house knowing it was an asshole move but he just couldn't stay in one room with Jackson. He felt something when they kissed. Something he missed with Joe. The butterflies, but he couldn't accept them. At least not now. His emotions were not in their right place. Maybe he just confused everything.

Once outside he called himself a cab driving home and he tried to not think about anything, when he saw his apartment block. Suddenly he felt like throwing up. Joe would definitely be home. Paying the driver he ran up the stairs opening the door silently when it was ripped open. Before him stood Joe looking so angry Mark instantly felt his bones froze up " Where the fuck were you? Huh?" He pulled him inside pushing him against the wall looking him up and down. Mark winced at the pain in his back before he felt hot breath on his face " what is this?" He grabbed the sweater" this isn't yours" Mark closed his eyes " please let me go. You're scaring me " but Joe ignored him " this is from another guy right? You slut" he felt how his breath got knocked out of his lungs when Joe punched his face. Licking over his lips he tasted iron knowing he was bleeding and his eye hurt like hell. He let him go making Mark fall to the ground " this is what you deserve for cheating" Mark wanted to laugh at such an accuse when Joe was the one who did it regularly. Pushing himself up his next words were spitted with so much rage " i hate you.. i hate you so fucking much" walking into his bedroom he leanded against the door not knowing what to do. He wanted to end the relationship but he was so scared what Joe would do. Crying again he crawled over to his mirror seeing his lip being cut and his eye already getting blue " i just want to be happy again" he sobbed falling on his bed and falling asleep because of the exhaustion.


	7. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. One word. Finally.

Chapter 7

 

Mark woke up in the early morning because of the pain that ran through his face. He knew this was way worse than the other times and he was glad Joe wasn't home. He wouldn't be until late at night. Standing up he walked towards the mirror gasping when he saw his face. His eye was blue and opening it hurt like hell while his lip was cut and dry blood was visible on his bottom lip. He flinched trying to touch the bruise feeling tears spring in his eyes. He was living in hell and he didn't know how to get out of it. He wanted to be free from one sided love and the pain it brought. The relationship was making him sick and it took him a whole lot of time to realize it. Being blinded by love thinking it will get better with time just made everything worse. And as weird as it sounds Jackson made him notice it. The way he was so gentle and nice showed him how Joe really treated him. Like a personal punching bag. Going back to bed he really didn't want to do anything. Not even meet Jinyoung. How could he? This time he couldn't say a cup cut his face and make up wouldn't help. He wanted to cry but it stung like hell. The hot liquid dripping over his bruise was like falling on the knee scratching the skin. He looked up at the ceiling feeling more alone than ever.

4 days. 4 days Mark didn't contact anyone. Not even his best friend. The interaction with Joe was reduced to sleeping in the same bed miles away from each other. And each time he couldn't sleep being to scared something would happen. Didn't matter if sex or just a touch. He felt like vomiting thinking about Joe touching him like that. His hands no longer were a safe zone . Nevertheless on the 4th day, a Thursday to be exact, Mark was about to take a shower when he heard the knocking on the door. Thinking it maybe was Joe having forgotten his key he made his way towards the entrance. Without asking who it was he opened the door turning around immediately " did you forget your keys?" But he was only greeted with the door closing and two pair of feet on the ground "Mark?" He realized it wasn't Joe. In fact it was Jinyoung with someone else he guessed Jackson. Knowing how he looked he didn't turn around being scared of showing his face. " Mark? Are you ok? I..we just had to know. You didn't contact either of us for the last days. I was so worried" he could hear Jinyoung sigh before he spoke up again " why don't you turn around?" And that actually made him froze on his spot " Mark why aren't you turning around?" Now it was Jackson who was asking. But in a more urgent kind of way. Mark wrapped his arms around himself before answering " I'm ok. Could you just leave again please. I'm not feeling so well. Don't want you to catch my cold" he fidgeded on his spot and he knew he couldn't escape the tension. He knew Jinyoung. He knew he wouldn't let go that easily. And when he felt a hand on his arm dragging him to turn around he wasn't fast enough to cover his face. Hearing Jinyoung gasp he felt the need to cry. He surely was a disappointment to his friends for letting something like this happen to him. " Omg Mark" hearing the hiccup he had to look up seeing Jinyoung with a hand over his mouth crying. He himself began to sob mumbling" sorry... I'm so sorry" he looked at Jackson who didn't say anything until now only to see him frozen. Anger obvious in his eyes " i knew he was the one hurting you. I'm no longer letting this happen" he said walking into Marks bedroom leaving him behind confused. He followed suit seeing him pack a few things into his travel bag " what are you doing?" Jackson turned around looking so hurt " I'm taking you with me. You will no longer sleep in the same house with someone who abuses you like that" and Mark was glad. He really was. He never would be able to do this alone. Too scared about thinking what Joe would do. He wiped his face before Jackson took his hand and walked back to the entrance. Putting a coat around his his body he gently pushed him and Jinyoung outside to his car before they all drove away to his apartment.

Once there he walked Mark to the couch making him sit down. Rummaging through a few things he gave him a blanket before he moved into the kitchen. Jinyoung sat down next to him taking him in his embrace " I'm so sorry for not noticing anything earlier or saying something. I'm so sorry" Mark leaned his head on his shoulder " you don't have to be sorry. I'm at fault" " no don't say something like that. You're not at fault. He hurt you like that" Mark nodded before looking straight at the wall. Spacing out he was brought back when he felt something hot near his face. Jackson was holding out a cup of tea. Taking it he immediately felt a bit more at ease. "Soo please tell us everything. Or just Jinyoung if you're not comfortable with me" Mark shaked his head " stay. You're not making me feel like that" he offered him a brief smile before letting his face fall again " where do i start?" It was hard to finally tell the truth but he was tired hiding everthing and letting it eat up his happy spirit " he slapped me . An accident a few month ago. I thought it wouldn't happen again but it became a regular visitor. I just thought maybe it would get better again. I loved him still but then it took ahold of everything. Our sex life, conversations , eating..." He sighed trying not to cry " it only got worse when i found out he was cheating on me. And the day of the party i saw them on our bed. That's why i drank so much... That's why i -" he looked at Jackson suddenly not wanting to say what happened between them " nevermind. When i returned home he saw the sweater i was wearing and accused me of cheating. Me? You know. And then he punched me" closing his eyes he continued " you can't imagine how scared i was . I wanted to leave him. I wanted to break up but the things he would do to me would be way worse than now. I'm so thankful you guys dragged me out of this" he saw Jackson stroking over his own face " wow.... That's shocking. You literally lived in hell" Jinyoung sat up looking in his eyes " I'm so glad you're here now. This asshole will get what he deserves. I promise you this" Jackson stood up walking towards them before taking one of Marks hands in his own " more important right now is that you will be staying at my place. He knows where Jinyoung lives but here it is more safe for you. And we have to take care of your face or else it will only get worse" he stood up going into the bathroom to return with a first aid kit. Mark moved his face closer when Jackson put some cream on his finger " ok i will put this on the area around your eye. It will help against the swell" feeling the finger on his bruise he winced " ow" Jackson had fond eyes that expressed gentleness and he decided to try to relax letting him put it on " ok all done" Mark leaned back at the couch again " thank you" . 

Jinyoung left after a while. He didn't want to but he had a meeting in the morning. Before that they ate something together with Mark not having that much of an appetite. He wanted to sit down on the couch again when Jackson stopped him " Mark you will be sleeping in my bed tonight. And i will sleep on the couch. You need this more than i do" Mark was thankful but he still felt kind of bad having Jackson to sleep in the living room. He made the bed , fluffing out the cushions before letting Mark lay down. The act was so thoughtful and cute Mark had to grin. " Ok sleep well. If something is wrong don't wait to call me I'm right around the corner. Literally" giggling Mark answered an okay before laying down. He fell asleep rather fast only to run inside a nightmare. He didn't knew what happened he only knew he was scared. Like really scared. Running he tried to escape something he couldn't pinpoint. All the doors he found were closed and he began to lack air. His breath was irregular and his fear of not being able to do anything took over his body until he felt hands on his shoulders shaking him. Opening his eyes he realized they were wet and looking around he saw Jackson staring at him being bewildered " what.." " you were screaming Mark. It was only a nightmare. Everything is okay" Mark sobbed " i was so scared" Jackson sat down beside him taking him into his arms " everything is okay now. I'm here" he let him embrace him taking in the warmth that surrounded his face . And he felt so safe and calm he really didn't want to let go anytime soon so he just said what he was thinking " i don't want to be alone. Can you sleep here?" He asked without looking into his face " of course" Jackson said gently before he layed down with Mark in tow " you can cuddle me if it helps" he smiled making Mark do the same " thank you" putting his head on Jacksons chest he calmed down. It was the first time in month that he felt this good and safe and it was the thing that made him fall asleep soundly.


	8. Are you serious?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. A kiss. Maybe. And more angst. Because i have to.

Chapter 8

 

It had been a week since Mark moved to Jacksons place. And in this week Joe send him a lot of messages . All kind of curses and words underlying with pure anger. Mark got so scared that Jackson had to put the phone away. They decided to sleep in the same bed. It was more comfortable for Jackson and Mark wasn't alone. And let's say their relationship got better. They watched a movie together every night and sometimes Mark even cooked for both of them. It made him concentrate on other things. But still something between them changed. Not in a bad way. There were subtle touches once in a while like a hand on his thigh or an arm around his waist and Mark couldn't say he didn't like it. He missed such little affections and maybe Jackson knew this and wanted to make him feel better. But there also was the option Jackson did this because he liked Mark. He kissed him back the time he was drunk as hell. It had to mean something . And because of this thoughts Mark couldn't concentrate on anything when they were together. Since 2 days. 

Like now. He was cutting some vegetables for dinner when Jackson walked behind him putting a hand on his waist before lightly stroking over it. It was a friendly touch but Mark couldn't suppress the want for it to be more than that. He looked over his shoulder smiling at him before helping to cook the rice. Mark turned his view to the side looking at Jacksons back and he was mesmerized how his muscles flexed when he cleaned the rice. Licking his suddenly dry lips he turned back to the vegetables still being unconcentrated when he cut his finger " ow" he whimpered closing his eyes before pressing on his finger. He heard the footsteps and soon Jackson was holding his hand " Mark you have to be more careful. Shit i don't have anything here to stop the bleeding" Mark opened his eyes again wanting to say it's ok when suddenly Jackson put his finger in his mouth. He was shocked at the first moment before he realized the lick on his finger sending shivers down his spine. It was in no way sexual but he couldn't help getting turned on when he saw Jackson sucking on it " Jackson stop" he tried to pull away also getting rid of the tension when Jackson popped off licking his bottom lip " sorry i didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable , i just wanted to help" he noticed Jackson getting nervous. Obviously because he noticed what he just did. Walking into the bathroom Mark took the chance to calm his nerves. He was feeling some kind of things but he also didn't want to embrace the feelings that seemed to built up too scared to get hurt again. Dwelling in his thoughts he jumped a bit when he saw Jackson putting a band aid on. Thanking him they decided to order some food before sitting down on the couch again. 

Mark kept distance between them not liking how his heart began to beat when he was close to Jackson. Putting the blanket over his legs he concentrated on the movie realizing Jackson put on something horror themed. He really wasn't good with things like that but he also didn't want to seem like a scared bunny so he just put the comforter more over himself until only his eyes were seen. But after a while he couldn't hide the fact he jumped at every scare . Seeing Jackson glance over once in a while he suddenly felt how he dragged him into his chest putting the blanket over his own feet " this way you can hold onto something when you get scared" he said gently making his heartbeat speed up. Mark knew he was blushing. He knew his face was red like a tomato and he was thankful for the lights being turned off and the comforter hiding nearly all of his face . When the credits rolled Mark sighed relieved it was over " ok time to go to bed. What do you think?" Not getting an answer he sat up seeing Jackson fast asleep. Having to laugh he put a hand over his mouth trying to keep quiet. Jackson was laying back on the couch with his mouth agape. He looked so soft and handsome Mark didn't realize he was staring only when Jackson moved a little he blinked coming back to himself. " Great now you're beginning to stare at him" he said to himself knowing too well what this meant. Shaking him lightly he stirred awake " wha .. did i fall asleep?" Mark nodded smiling and suddenly Jackson smiled back " you're so beautiful Mark" feeling the blush creeping up his ears he gulped " what?" Jackson moved his head to the side " hmm?" Now more than sure Jackson was talking while still being sleep deprived he sighed. But he was having a slight feeling of disappointment and it confused him. The tension between them was suffocating him. He felt it. He felt the sexual tension between them. And he couldn't lie. He was being pulled in by Jackson. He was attractive and he was such a nice person still he couldn't give in. Not now. He didn't want to hurt him. 

 

The days went by like usual only that it became even more obvious between them. They were attracted to each other. At least Mark thought this way and he couldn't lie about not seeing the way Jackson stared at him once in a while. It was a fond look but he also could see desire. And he felt wanted. This feeling got lost a long time ago but it blossomed to life again. He really tried to resist not wanting to rush anything but his thoughts were swirling only around one thing. No matter how hard he tried to not to.

Today was one of those days. It was Saturday and Jackson was at home. They talked at breakfast but Mark couldn't look him in the eyes. At least not really. Wanting to escape the tension he made mostly by himself , he excused himself to the shower. Deciding not to lock the door because Jackson was a gentleman and would never just come inside. Undressing himself he jumped under the hot spray trying to sort his mind . His eye was looking way better by now. Only a little green around the corner and his lip was completely healed. Cleaning himself he noticed the bathroom being full of steam. Definitely time to get out he took a towel wrapping it around himself searching for his clothes " shit " having them left in the bedroom he opened the door noticing the way was clear he sneaked outside looking behind himself before he ran into something soft. Knowing it must be Jackson he was suddenly self consious being half naked when he suddenly heard a little " fuck" which made him look up. Jackson was bright red around his cheeks looking him up and down before he met Marks eyes. Both didn't know what to say they just stared at each other and the tension was this time as clear as water. Gulping he bit his lip noticing how Jacksons eyes followed the movement. He felt a rush of heat in his stomach wanting this now more than ever " Jacks-" " fuck this" he saw Jackson move forward kissing him on the lips and he instantly got lost in it. The feeling not foreign he kissed him back stroking through his hair . They moved sensually against each other before Jackson pushed Mark against the wall licking over his bottom lip. Moaning he opened his mouth moving in sync with Jacksons tounge. It was dirty the way their lips smacked together but simultaneously the desire was stronger than any type of rational thinking. Dragging away to gasp for air he felt Jackson kissing his neck before licking over his pulse point. He whined being sensitive around the area on his neck " Hah.. Jackson" not being able to say much more he moved his hands under his shirt stroking over his stomach to feel the hot muscles flexing everytime he breathed. Leaning his head back against the wall he sighed before he felt Jackson's hand on his face again turning him towards his lips. Kissing again he put his arms around Jacksons neck leaving little to no space between them. He was getting lost in the feeling of the soft plumpness of his lips. Feeling Jacksons hand move up his thigh he shivered. Marks breath hitched when he glided under his towel grabbing his butt cheek gently. He had to draw back a little to catch his breath. It was all too much tension at once when suddenly Jackson moved his other hand onto the other leg also grabbing his butt and heaving him up . Out of reflex Mark wrapped his legs around Jacksons waist before diving in for a kiss again. His dick brushed against Jacksons and he had to moan into the others mouth. Too sensitive from all the touches. Ready to risk it all he was about to let go completely when he felt Jacksons hands on his thighs. Moving them over it before grabbing them and Mark suddenly was thrown into a pool of dark memories making him gasp " stop... Jackson stop" he said in a whisper scared to his bones he began to shiver. Jackson seemingly didn't notice his uncomfort and just kissed his neck down again . Mark felt how his lungs seemed to be pressed together making him gasp for air " Stop" he yelled pushing at Jacksons chest before he felt himself falling to the ground. Looking up he realized he was crying and seeing Jacksons stand there staring at his hands he began to feel bad " I'm sorry" he whispered before rushing into the bedroom sliding down the door.


	9. I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's up guys. Chapter is coming earlier today. I'm at a party later in the evening.

Chapter 9

Mark didn't know what was happening . He just knew his breath was coming short. Putting a hand around his neck he tried to get a clear head again. He kissed Jackson. Touched him even. More intimate than ever. He didn't knew what was going on in his mind at that moment. He just saw Jacksons lips and wanted to get a taste. Remembering the time they kissed before this was different. The tension between both was touchable. Confused if it was just because of his lacking of sexual intercourse or because he felt something deeper for him he let himself slide down the floor completely. Feeling the soft touch of the carpet on his face he let his fingers glide through the fabric trying to calm down. And somehow it worked . He felt how the fog in his mind started to fade away and suddenly he realized he was only in his towel. Shivering he touched his arm only to notice he was cold as a block of ice. Shrieking at the sound of knocking he turned his head to the door wondering if he just noticed it now. Sure it would have to be Jackson he stood up reaching for the doorknob but something stopped him from opening it. His hand was having a mind of it's own . Just when he thought he could touch it Jackson spoke up and he sounded like he was crying " listen Mark. I tried to get your attention for at least 30 minutes now. I didn't want this to happen. I'm so sorry if i made you uncomfortable" at the sudden silence Mark frowned but before he could react in any way Jackson talked again " I'm so sorry.. i don't know.. did i trigger something?" At that Mark shivered a bit. He triggered something indeed but he couldn't have known that. Jackson wasn't at fault. " Listen i will leave now. I don't want you to be alone so i called Jinyoung. Please don't be scared of me or something like that. You mean so much to me. I ... Please just take care of yourself".

 

Hearing his footsteps getting quieter he released the breath he was holding. The things Jackson said made something in him blossom. He sounded so hurt and just then Mark realized he was crying himself too again. Rubbing his eyeballs he dried the tears before walking over to the bed. He was at fault. He again did something stupid. Just like with Joe he couldn't satisfy his needs any longer. And now with Jackson. He was such a good person and Mark pushed him away. Just like that. Sighing he walked over to his bag grabbing some underwear and one of his sweatpants. But in search of a sweater he was at a loss realizing all of them were in the washing machine. Feeling a shiver run up he looked around walking to Jacksons closet and grabbed the first one that was in sight. Pushing it over his head the faint cologne of him filled his nostrils and he immediately calmed down. Absentmindedly opening the door he walked into the kitchen only to jump because of Jinyoung who was taking off his coat right in that moment " Mark..." He sighed inspecting his face before taking him in a hug " what happened? Jackson just told me something happened between you two but he sounded so ... Sad. And you too. You look like you cried a lot" Mark snuggled into the well known warmth before speaking up " can we sit down first. I will tell you everything. I have to". Taking his hand he lead him to the couch immediately pushing himself into Jinyoungs chest " i screwed up. Big time" looking up into his eyes he could feel his eyes water again when he heard his voice " Mark it's ok. Just tell me. I'm your best friend. I would never judge you" nodding he sorted his thoughts before speaking up again " it all started with me coming out of the shower. I ran into Jackson and somehow we kissed " he was ready for some scolding but instead he felt his hand going through his hair motivating him to go further " we made out and i felt good. But then he touched my thighs and he is in no case at fault but it trigged a memory of Joe. I was so scared suddenly but Jackson didn't stop and then i pushed him away and ran into the bedroom locking myself up and now you're here. I'm such a bad human being".

Jinyoung grabbed his chin making him look up before talking " don't talk like that. You did nothing wrong. Jackson did nothing wrong. It's just that Joe did you horribly. To be honest I'm glad you kissed. Jackson is a really really good person. And he likes you. He is doing you good but i guess he thinks he did something wrong now "he heard him sighing " why? I mean did something happen?" Seeing Jinyoung nod he gulped a bit nervous of the answer " yeah. He called me and he was crying. I never saw him or heard him crying before but he did. And he was so scared he did something wrong. Talking how he doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable ever again and that Joe was an asshole and now he wasn't any better. I tried to tell him that it is wrong but he just asked for me to come over and hung up" .

Mark moved away a bit before speaking up " what? Omg . What should i do now?" Jinyoung put a hand on his shoulder moving it in calming circles " just calm down. He has to do the same. And when he comes back you two have to talk" smiling he suddenly changed to a serious expression " but Mark. More important. Do you perhaps like Jackson? Like more than a friend?" that actually caught him off guard a bit " i don't know. I like him. But not in such a way. I think. But then the kiss made me feel some things and I'm not so sure any longer" seeing Jinyoung nod he sighed a bit. Relieved that his best friend was beside him in such a moment " don't worry. You will soon enough know what you're feeling. For now just settle things with Jackson. It's better for both of you" nodding he hugged Jinyoung thanking him for always being there before he had to leave again. Mark looked around the room deciding to clean the house to distract himself a bit.

Once he was finished with the living room he looked out of the window seeing it's already dark outside. Rubbing his eyes he moved to the kitchen to clean the dishes when he heard the key turn on the door. Feeling his heartbeat rose he suddenly didn't know what to do with his hands looking around frantically when he noticed footsteps behind him . " Mark?" Taking a deep breath he turned around before speaking up himself " Jackson".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry cliffhanger :D


	10. Make up ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys I'm so emotional right now. All abort the feels train in this chapter. I would even say this is the most emotional one I've ever wrote. I hope you like and enjoy it.
> 
> Also thank you guys so much for the kudos ans appreciating my story. It means a lot to me <3

Chapter 10

 

Mark was quiet the moment Jackson said his name. He didn't even dare to look him in the eyes. Too scared to see a emotion he didn't want to. It was like a flashback when he disappointed Joe . All the stares and mean comments made his self esteem crumble and now he feared it was happening the same way with Jackson. Taking a deep breath he looked up freezing on the spot. He knew he himself must not have looked any better but Jackson looked worse. His eyes were swollen and his hair completely out of place . He looked like he didn't sleep for days and Mark knew it was his fault. On the verge of tears again because of his guilty mind he opened his mouth wanting to apologize when Jackson did the exact same thing in the exact same moment. This lead to awkward staring between them again. Mark fiddled with a string of his sweater. Jacksons sweater . Before speaking up " you can go first" he heard a hum and looked up again meeting his eyes and getting ready for scolding or something like that. But what he didn't expect was that Jackson apologized.

 

" Listen Mark. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or to make you feel uncomfortable. It was just ... You looked so good. You always look gorgeous and i couldn't help myself wanting to kiss you and make you feel better for at least a moment. I know this must sound stupid but i mean every word. I...i like you. And i wanted to kiss you. I won't apologize for that but i will again for the feelings i definitely triggered in you " Mark listened with both ears being entranced by the way Jackson was speaking and he felt relief washing over him with each sentence. The only thing that stopped his heart for a moment was the mentioning of Jackson liking him . He liked Jackson too. But not in that way.. or did he? Mark was still a hurricane of thoughts and emotions. He didn't know what he felt but he indeed noticed the tears that rolled down his face once Jackson was finished. They weren't because he was sad or hurt. He was just glad once in his life he didn't screw up. Nodding along he opened his mouth to speak for himself " Jackson it's ok. You couldn't have known that you would trigger something. I'm sorry for my behaviour. I must have freaked you out and i didn't mean to" he rubbed his eyes trying to get rid of the water that dripped down every two seconds and he wasn't sure if he should tell Jackson what happened but he trusted him enough to tell the truth " you know... when you did that" he grabbed his own thighs in an awkward manner suddenly shy " i remembered the time Joe hurt me real bad. He grabbed them so hard it drew bruises. You saw them . And i suddenly felt scared that's why i pushed you away. I wanted to kiss you too. It wasn't just a spur of the moment. So don't feel at fault or so" he sighed noticing his monologue got pretty long " but still you have to know i don't know what I'm feeling and I'm sorry if that hurts you. I don't want to but I'm so confused. The memories still linger in my mind and i don't want to drag you into a mess I'm not ready to solve".

He was fully sobbing by now relieved he finally was able to tell Jackson what was on his mind. And before he knew it he felt big arms wrapping themselves around him. Flinching at the contact he winced at his own behavior " I'm sorry is that -" Jackson said wanting to pull back but Mark dragged him back into his chest putting his own arms around his waist " it's ok. I really need that right now" he nuzzled his head in Jackson neck calming down at the safety he felt. And for once he wasn't scared to do something wrong. They stayed this way for at least 30 minutes. Just light strokes over each others backs and mumbled sorrys until they decided to go to sleep. Jackson took it upon him to sleep on the couch again. At least for this night and Mark was glad he was this accepting and kind.

 

After that night Mark acted awkward around Jackson. But it wasn't better the other way around. How could they react properly when many questions were still flying around in the air between them? It were exactly 2 days that passed and Jackson had the manners to respect Marks private space. He didn't dare to move back into the bedroom to sleep. And Mark was glad. He felt the pressure of the lingering emotion his heart wanted to show. The want and need. 

Taking a deep breath he walked into the living room when he woke up. Due to the warm weather outside he was only in a big sweatshirt and his black boxers which weren't visible because of the length of his shirt. Being a bit sleep deprived he rubbed his eye tripping more than walking towards the kitchen sink to make himself some coffee. He was getting used to everything at Jacksons place and as weird as it sounds this felt more like home than the place he stayed with Joe for all this years. Waiting for the machine to pour him some hot liquid he heard footsteps behind him knowing it must have been Jackson and suddenly he got self consious. His choice of clothes wasn't the best and he knew Jackson saw him in way less but this time he had different feelings. This time the tension between them wasn't sexual or any type of romantic , it was embarrassing. At least for Mark. Turning around he smiled briefly saying a little 'good morning' before pulling his shirt down a little bit more. Pouring some coffee he sat down on the table to watch Jackson make himself a cup too and he didn't quite knew what to talk about so he choose the first thing that came to his mind " thank you" he said looking into his cup when he saw Jackson turn around. " For what?" He gently asked sitting down in front of Mark " for everything. You saved me and i feel like i didn't thank you enough till now" Jackson nodded before smiling and taking Marks hand into his own. He immediately froze but hoped he wouldn't notice his action. It wasn't that it didn't feel good , Mark was nervous to be honest. Looking up he could see Jackson frowning pulling his hand back again and Mark instantly felt bad. He just flinched because it was sudden not because he didn't want it. " Listen Mark it's ok like i said. I'm glad you feel better" they smiled at each other before Marks phone vibrated on the kitchen counter making him fall out of his trance. He licked his lips standing up and trotting over to where the sound was coming from not noticing how his shirt got stuck in his boxers. Opening the chat with Jinyoung he saw a message

Jinyoungie<3

Hey Mark. I was thinking about eating out today. How about you and Jackson join me? :)

Mark smiled " Jackson, Jinyoung asked if we want to go eat out today?" He turned around noticing him already staring. But instead of his face his eyes were fixated on something below his stomach. Following his eyes he noticed his shirt being stuck up and his butt being on full display. The blush creeped from his neck to his ears and finally his cheeks and he pulled it down again seeing Jackson seemingly coming back from his own world. " I-i asked if you want to eat out today w-with Jinyoung?" Jackson seemed to notice what he had done and awkwardly nodded turning back to his coffee. Mark took the yes and walked back into the bedroom closing the door behind him before answering a short ' we're coming' before feeling his legs getting wobbly. Jackson stared at his butt. And normally it would feel weird but his gaze was fond and full of 'love'? He really didn't know. But it was in no way sexual more appreciation . And Mark was feeling good. He was feeling so good that he forgot to breath for a moment. Feeling wanted and pretty were things he lost way back. Smiling to himself he nibbled his finger before deciding to put on some decent clothes.

The day went by rather fast and when Jackson came home from work Mark was already sitting on the couch ready to go out. He choose his black skinny jeans rolling up the bottom a bit and a white sweatshirt with long sleeves. It was comfortably hanging down his frame and not to hot for the weather outside. Greeting him swiftly he didn't have to wait long before they drove down the alley towards the restaurant. Jinyoung was already waiting in front of it waving at them when Mark jumped into his arms nuzzling his neck " Hey" "Hi" they smiled at each other deciding to go inside to their table when Jackson pulled the chair out for Mark. And he had to be honest that little act made his heart jump more than once. Smiling at him he sat down so he was facing both and sitting opposite from Jackson. He saw the waitress coming to their table and immediately noticed the way she was staring at his friend. And in this case not Jinyoung. " Good evening what can i get you?" Jackson smiled up at her being polite as ever and once they were all done with their order Mark couldn't avoid the way he was staring at her leaving figure. He knew he had no right for this feeling . They weren't together. But still he suddenly hated the thought of Jackson being in a relationship with someone other. His mood was going down faster than he could move his eyes. Everytime she came back she was smiling and flirting and it even got so far that she put her hand on Jacksons shoulder. Mark grabbed his fork maybe a bit too hard and Jinyoung noticed it smirking at his behavior. Once they were done with eating Mark spoke up answering maybe a bit too snappy for his own liking " can we go home now?" Both turned their heads and Jackson seemed to be seriously worried " is everything ok? Are you in pain? The food maybe?" Mark just shaked his head " no i just want to go home now" . They stood up paying for their food when he could see the waitress giving Jackson her number and now he really couldn't contain the jealousy that bubbled up his system. Sighing he got into Jacksons car answering to his questions only with little 'uh's' and 'hm's' . And he noticed the way Jackson frowned. 

Once they were back in the apartment Mark took of his shoes and jacket walking towards the bathroom when Jacksons hand on his wrist held him back " is everything ok? You are acting weird for a while now?" Mark didn't turn around trying to pry free from his hold " no I'm ok. Let me go" but Jackson didn't seem to like that he pulled onto his arm making him fall into his chest " answer me. Please. If something is bothering you tell me. I want to help" Mark was getting angry the second the oblivious words left his mouth. " What's bothering me is that the stupid waitress gave you her number and flirted with you the whole evening" he blurted out jumping back to hold a hand over his mouth. Realizing he just said the truth he blushed " what?" Jackson asked and Mark couldn't control the redness all over his face " nothing. It's nothing" " no no no. I heard what you said. Are you jealous?" He asked making Mark squirm at his place . He knew he couldn't get out of the situation now so he just closed his eyes " yes I'm jealous. Are you happy now?" He said near tears because of his own feelings " i like you. I like you so fricking much but I'm scared. Scared to do something wrong to hurt you or be a disappointment. I want to be with you since... I don't even know anymore. But it's difficult. I'm difficult" he breathed out in one go having trouble with breathing suddenly and kneeling down to bury his head into his knees " I'm sorry" . Hearing the silence he suddenly flinched feeling a hand on his shoulder and looked up . He knew he must have looked terrible. He could feel the tears running down his cheeks but the soft look on Jacksons face made his facade crumble " i like you too. Very much to be honest and i want to be with you . No matter how damaged you are you could never be a disappointment to me . I like you with your flaws and also i know why you are that way . So if you are willing then let me try to put you back together and heal you" Mark was feeling every word that left his mouth. They were pure and so full of meaning he just had to cry even harder. Letting himself fall into his arms he snuggled into Jacksons neck wrapping his arms around him " yes...yes please . Even if i don't deserve it.." he mumbled . Feeling Jacksons fingers under his chin he looked up blinking the fresh tears away and looked directly into his eyes " don't say something like that. You deserve so much more than you think Mark..i will show you. Let me show you" nodding he saw Jackson smile gently and he returned it . Seeing him move closer he closed his eyes until he could feel Jacksons lips on his own. He sighed at the tender contact eagerly kissing back wanting to get swallowed whole in the feeling of safety . And he was finally able to honestly laugh again after a long time when Jackson whispered a " hmm salty" against his lips.


	11. Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some more angst.

Chapter 11

The relationship between them took a fast turn for the bright side. Mark was happy but also disappointed in himself. Jackson was treating him like expensive porcelain not wanting to do anything sudden and he hated himself for making the people have to act that way around them. But still they made some progess. Sleeping together in one bed was one thing. Holding hands once in a while was the other. Jackson didn't put pressure onto him . No matter if it was about a kiss or even getting intimate with each other. That was something Mark definitely wasn't ready for. At least he thought that way. The subtle touches made something spark in him and he knew it was passion and lust. Wanting to touch Jackson in the same way. But the haunting thought of remembering something from his past was stopping him from doing anything like that. He was treated kindly and for once he felt worth it. That he indeed deserved that much attention. Jackson was making him feel good . They shared a brief 'good morning' or 'see you after work' kiss everyday but it didn't extend the limit of being just comfortable with each other. And Mark wouldn't say it but he was scared. Scared of Jackson getting tired waiting for any intimacy to happen between them. And that thought was taking over his brain quickly.

Like now. Jackson was making popcorn in the kitchen having the great idea to play some games while Mark sat on the couch nibbling on his fingers. He was nervous. Not because of them being alone. They were everyday but because he felt like he was laking. Like he didn't take the initative to do something. A kiss or just touching. Didn't really matter. The fear of disappointing his love interest was there no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. Shrieking a bit when Jackson sat down again he looked up smiling and taking some popcorn that was offered. " Hmm tasty. You're good " he said moving a bit closer so their shoulders were touching " let's play some game. And the winner get's to have the whole bed tonight for themselves" Jackson said grabbing the controller and giving the other to Mark. 

They had a few matches and it was fun until that feeling creeped up his throat again. Gulping down the non existent fear he leaned his head on Jackson shoulder. Slowly moving closer and hoped it wasn't that obvious. But it was. If the chuckling he heard was anything to go by . Suddenly even more embarrassed he just moved his head up kissing Jacksons soft lips. It was forced and he was maybe pushing a bit too hard. But he didn't care. He wanted to stay with Jackson. Wanted to still be interesting. So he just took the opportunity even if it didn't feel right or good. A bit surprised when Jackson gave him a quick peck and pulled back he opened his eyes only to be greeted with hurt and sympathy " you don't have to make yourself do something you're not ready for. I can wait. I will wait" he felt his hand on his cheek and the thumb softly stroking over his skin and it made him shiver. It was a touch that was emitting so much love and care. Looking up he had to blink a few times to keep the tears away " you're way too kind for me" he huffed pulling out of Jacksons touch to lean his head onto his knees that he dragged up the couch. Closing his eyes briefly he took a deep breath " i don't want you to lose interest or get bored of me just because I'm not ready. I don't want to be apart from you" hearing a sigh he openend one eye staring up at him " he really damaged you right? For you thinking everyone will treat you like that asshole did? I don't judge you. But i want to let you know i will wait. No matter how long it takes for you to feel comfortable around me. I don't care because you're important to me" Mark was moved by his words. They had such a big meaning and the gratefulness that bubbled up inside him was taking place on his face " you're great you know that?" He said leaning against Jacksons shoulder closing his eyes " can you take me to bed?" He asked knowing it must have sound childish but he was needing some cuddling now. Even if it was just for a short while. " Mhm i can do that. But only if you say yes to the invitation for a party that is held Saturday" frowning he nooded " but only if you will be there too" hearing Jackson giggle he smiled himself " of course i will be there too. I would never leave you alone" and somehow that sentences had a deeper meaning for Mark. He felt his heart skip a beat nuzzling into Jacksons shirt " can you take me to bed now?" feeling himself getting moved up yelping at the movement but it soon faded into happiness. The faint smell of cologne made him feel at ease and before he knew it he fell asleep. 

The party was big and somehow Mark felt lost in between the amount of guests. There were so many faces he didn't know and it was making him feel uncomfortable. Jackson was greating a lot of them and he stayed put on the bar counter sipping on his cocktail. Wishing Jinyoung would be there he inspected his hands when he suddenly felt a drag on his shoulder. Looking up he was ready to hug Jackson when his facial expression fell down in within seconds. In front of him was Joe. Looking like he didn't sleep the last weeks and his breath was reaking of alcohol. The fear crawled up his body faster than he could blink and he started shivering without noticing it " w-what are y-you doing here?" He asked just wanting to escape the situation as fast as possible. He looked around but Jackson was nowwhere in sight. Wincing when he felt his hand push into his collarbone he closed his eyes " i actually saw you going into this apartment. But it doesn't matter now . you're coming home with me. You will regret this. Everything." Mark was scared and he could feel his eyes getting watery shaking his head he tried to break free when he felt a slap on his cheek. It was so loud that everyone around them suddenly stopped talking. Shocked Mark moved his hand up to the spot not knowing what to do when he heard a voice in the distance " hey asshole what are you doing here?" It was Jackson and he was angry. Really angry. Mark could see it on his face and by the way he was fisting his hands to hard his knuckled turned white. Joe turned around swaying a bit before laughing " oh who do we have here? You're the one who fucks my boyfriend on the regulary right? " Mark saw him moving closer and tapping on Jacksons chest " he is good right? So fucking tight and willing " . He felt his stomach turn hearing him talk like that . Like he was just a piece of meat. But he wasn't able to react. Jackson was faster pulling on Joe's collar and spiting pure venom into his face " who the fuck do you think you are? Talking like that? It's disgusting. You are disgusting. Leave or i will call the police" Joe just laughed and Mark just blinked briefly but when he opened his eyes again Jackson was holding his nose. Blood flodding down his hand and face but Joe was nowwhere to be seen. Looking around he noticed him being dragged away by the security and Mark just ran up to Jackson taking him in a hug " I'm sorry. Thank you but I'm sorry. This would have never happened if i didn't ..." He couldn't end his sentence feeling Jacksons finger on his lip " don't you dare say it. It doesn't matter. The important thing is he will never bother you again" smiling he gave him a kiss on the cheek before whispering " let's get you cleaned. Even though you're more attractive looking like that. Like an action star".


	12. You're perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for cute ass shit and some steamy action. But let me say this is the softest I've ever wrote. <3

Chapter 12

Mark literally dragged Jackson into the toilet at the party location. Grabbing some tissues he walked over to him again and his heart broke a little. His face was swollen around the nose and the bleeding didn't stop since the accident. Feeling so heavily bad he gently tapped under his nose to get rid of the dried blood. He was avoiding his eyes. Even though everything was good between them Mark couldn't shake of that feeling of being at fault. He sniffed realizing his eyes got wet once again and he was disappointed in himself. Crying because of every little thing was so not mature and he felt ashamed. Seemingly acting like some kid. But a hand on his chin made him snap out of his trance. Looking up Jackson was smiling, dragging a thumb under his eye to dry the tears " why are you crying again?" Mark just shaked his head " i feel bad. You got hurt because of me" a sweet laugh made him frown " what is funny about that?" Jackson just moved his hands in Marks hair stroking through it " i got hurt because i made that asshole angry. You didn't have anything to do with it. So stop. Don't think about being a disappointment. In my eyes you're perfect. Every inch of you is mesmerizing" Mark blushed heavily and had to throw his hands over his face to avoid exploding " my god you're so cheesy" he meant it but he simultaneously loved the affection that was radiating through his words " but i mean it. I am so in trance everytime i look at you . Why don't you see how precious you are?" Mark let his hands glide down again looking to the side. He knew the reason. But he wasn't sure if talking about it right now would be good. Not liking the quietness between them he sighed deciding to just spill the truth " I'm self consious. Joe always said i look ugly in specific kind of clothes or teased my big nose. It got worse through time but i just realized he completely made my self esteem crumble when we broke up and you... you came in my life. You're treating me so good and the compliments are new to me " he felt Jackson move his hands back to his cheeks to pull him closer. Mark shrieked at the sudden pull staring straight into his eyes. He could feel Jacksons breath on his face and his eyes wandered more than once towards Jacksons plumb lips. " I'm treating you the way you deserve. And i will make you realize that. In time . Like now. I can see the way you're blushing and it's so beautiful. How your skin turns a light pink all over your neck , ears and face. It makes me want to kiss you breathless " Mark was already out of breath . His words were pure fire for his soul . Suddenly getting a push of confidence he moved his head even closer touching Jacksons nose with his own and looking up from under his eyelashes " then why don't you do it?" He licked his dry lips waiting for him to make a move . When he saw him smiling he closed his eyes and met his lips halfway. It was sweet and soft . Something Mark could get lost in but it turned into something more when Jackson turned them around pushing him against the toilet stall . Mark gasped at the contact and Jackson took the opportunity to push his tounge in. Having to moan at the sudden movement Mark let his hands slide along his back muscles digging his nail in briefly before letting them fall to his waist pushing him into his own body even more. He was relishing the feeling of intimacy. Able to hear his quick breath so close and feeling the arousal through the gliding of his tounge over his own he opened one eye and froze when he saw him already staring at him. It was new and it made something in Mark spark up. His eyes were emitting pure want and he could feel his legs getting wobbly. It wasn't like the times before when Joe looked away at the wall not even cherishing the person in front of him. And he was loving it. Opening both eyes he stared back at him still leaving little kisses all over his lips and was about to say something when he felt hot liquid on his bottom lip. Frowning he pulled away touching it to see it was blood. Jacksons nose was bleeding all over again . Putting a hand over his mouth he gasped " Jackson you're bleeding again . My god we have to go see a doctor" seeing Jackson touch his nose he pulled some clean paper again handing it over " whoops. I guess you're at fault. Your kiss made my blood pump into my head " Mark was so embarrassed at the situation and even more because of his words " how can you be like that? You will be at fault when i faint because of your bluntness" Jackson chuckled before answering " well then i have to catch you when you fall right?" . The honestness of the situation made Mark explode into a fit of giggles. So hard he had to touch his stomach " you're cute Jackson" he was able to say in between. This went on for at least 5 minutes until they decided to leave the party to go see a doctor. Hand in hand.

They got home late that night. The time they had to wait in the hospital for a doctor to take care of Jacksons nose was rather long but they were glad when he told them the nose was not broken. Throwing their coats on the first seat in the kitchen Mark grabbed some beans from the freezer wrapping it in a cloth to give it Jackson. Turning around he was already right in front of him and he could feel his hands wrap around his waist . Relaxing in the soft hug he smiled tapping on Jacksons chest " here . The doctor said to cool it" he moved his hand up to put it gently onto his nose. " Whoa cold is good but this is freezing " Jackson exclaimed making shivering movements and Mark had to chuckle " stop you're a really bad actor " shutting his mouth when Jackson suddenly looked him in the eyes " but the things i feel for you are not acted" it hit him like a truck. The atmosphere around them suddenly changed into something more sensual. The way Jackson looked at Marks lips while licking his own and his hands massaging circles into the skin of his hipbones. Maybe moving a bit to low once in a while. Mark didn't know what to say. His breath was stuck in his throat because he was feeling it. He was feeling every word that left his mouth. And every one of them made a shiver run down his back. The intoxicating rush of lust was making him fuzzy in the mind and he got scared. He wasn't ready. Or was he? Confused at his thoughts he gently pushed Jackson away looking on his feet " i-i have t-to take a s-shower" running away from the oh so hypnotising tension between them he shut the bathroom door. Not locking up because out of habit he quickly took off his clothes turning the water on. He was so unsure of what he was ready to do. Honestly spoken he wanted to touch Jackson in more than one way but he was scared to push him away in the middle because he remembered something. Letting the spray wash away his thoughts he didn't hear the knocking on the door.

Turning towards the shower glass he could make out a figure through the milky separator. And it was so sudden he shrieked nearly slipping if he didn't hold on to the handle of the shower head. Sliding the glass aside a little he could see Jackson immediately looking at him " are you crazy?? I could have really hurt myself" but he didn't get an answer. Instead his stare was so intense Marks voice shut short. Not being able to even make a sound. He let go of the glass when Jackson started to strip himself and with every piece of clothing Marks mouth watered more. He could feel it. The sexual tension between them . And the fear creeping up his spine. But he was ready to risk it all. So he didn't move when Jackson walked towards him and into the bathtub. He just stepped away until his back was touching the cold tiles. Seeing him coming closer he licked his lips . Out of nervousness or arousal. He didn't knew. The only thing that mattered was how the water rolled down Jacksons face down to his chest . He was entranced by his every move and he knew what this meant. He was hopelessly crushing on him. Taking a deep breath when Jackson was right in front of him he was about to say something. Anything. Didn't matter . It just had to delay what was about to happen but he didn't get the chance to do that when he felt the hand on his waist and his breath against his mouth. He was so close he could make out every beauty spot on his face and every pimple on his skin. A little breathless he was able to say a little " Jackson" before he could feel the warmth against his lips. Getting lost in the feeling he forgot his thoughts and fear and just went with the flow. Putting his hands around Jacksons neck he pulled him closer letting their chests touch. The water was mixing together with their spit and the lewd sounds leaving there mouths was echoing in the whole bathroom. But Mark didn't care. The only thing that was on his mind were Jacksons lips being as gentle as ever sliding over his own with every breath. He could feel how arousal hit his system when Jackson moved down to his neck sucking on his pulse point while moving his hands over his chest playing with his nipples. And Mark didn't know where to concentrate on. He was feeling good in so many ways he thought he would go crazy any moment . Whining when Jackson moved his thumb over his now hard bud he pulled on Jacksons hair gently drawing him onto his lips again. They kissed each other with so much passion and love Mark thought he could do this forever. Gasping a bit when Jackson gently pulled his left leg up to make him wrap around his waist he began to rub against him in all the right places. Feeling his erection against his own he had to moan loud. He was the one who turned Jackson on that much and he couldn't hide the fact he was proud. Latching onto his neck he left little butterfly kisses until he could feel his other leg also being lifted. Now closer than ever a shaky breath left his mouth " oh god" he sighed enjoying the little friction his dick got. And before he knew it they were walking into the bedroom. Not caring if they were wet from the shower Jackson immediately started to leave kisses down Marks upper thighs until he was so close to his erection Mark could feel his breath on it. A wave of confidence washed over Mark and he opened his legs lewdly making space for Jackson and inviting him in. And he gladly accepted it.

Having to throw his head into the soft pillow when Jackson went down on him he moaned out loud. Not ashamed of the noises that left his mouth he didn't hold back at all. Pushing up a little everytime Jackson sucked on the head he started to get so aroused he didn't know what left his mouth. He just realized he said something when Jackson popped off moving closer to his face to kiss his nose " are you sure?" Gaping at him he really didn't know what was happening. Looking up into his puppy eyes he just said the first thing that was bothering his mind since the time they started to make out in the bath " i want you" breathing it out more than talking he smiled when Jackson did the same kissing his lips gently once again before he saw him rummaging through his nightstand. Calming down his nerves he closed his eyes. The whole situation suddenly got so intense he could hear his own heartbeat bursting through his ears. And he knew what that meant. The fear tried to crawl up again. So when Jackson moved one slick finger towards his entrance he stopped him by holding his wrist " please.. don't hurt me" he barely said in a whisper and he could feel Jacksons whole body tense up. The hand moved away from his bottom and instead he could feel the other one on his cheek " look at me" he opened his eyes ready to face disappointment but instead was greeted with the familiar gentle smile " i would never hurt you. I want to please you. Make you feel things you never knew you could feel and i want you to want it too. I won't do anything you're against" Mark nodded biting his bottom lip " ok. I ...i want this...i want you" 'because i love you' he added in his mind but it was something he wasn't ready to say or face. Throwing it back into the corner of his mind. Jackson kissed his lips once again leaving a little one on the bite mark he just did on his bottom one before he could feel his finger push in gently. Groaning at the intrusion he closed his eyes but he was relaxing quite fast when Jackson began to kiss his thigh. It was soothing and simultaneously arousing. He moaned at every push and drag of his finger against his walls and when a second and third one joined he was already on the verge of crying because of the pleasure. Jackson was making him feel ways he never thought were possible. Touching his biceps he spoke between his rushed breath " it's ok. I'm...ready" it was embarrassing even though it wasn't that big of a deal. But he never had the opportunity to decide. Joe always did everything without asking but Jackson was so different. He was so good. Both in the way he was pleasuring him and the way his whole aura was emitting. 

Hearing the ripping sound of a condom he spread his legs even more knowing it must have looked seductively. How his private area was in full display. But he didn't care. He wanted to be sexy for Jackson. Opening his eyes when he felt Jacksons breath over his face again he directly looked him in the face and had to hiccup when he felt him push in. Whining at the way he was stretched he put his hands onto his back scratching down his skin. Soflty but a sting would be noticeable. It took a while for Jackson to bottom out but when he did Mark felt so full he thought he would burst any moment. " Ja-Jackson.." noticing a finger brush over his lips he kissed the tip of it hearing Jackson whisper " I'm going to move now" nodding blindly along he gasped with the first thrust but it soon turned into moans when he was prodding at the exact places that made Mark see starts. Gliding his hands down to Jackson butt he squeezed the cheeks before breathing out a " faster" which he did immediately. He was getting lost in the feel of being pushed to the edge and soon enough he could feel his orgasm building up . Stroking through Jacksons hair he said " I'm so close. Please don't stop" and threw his head back into the pillow when he felt his hand on his straining erection and it didn't take long for him to release onto his stomach whining with every spurt. And he had to moan again when he felt Jackson shudder over him knowing he just came himself. Breathing heavily trying to control his body he winced when he felt him pull out . Jackson was on his face within milliseconds asking if he hurt him but Mark just had to smile. Getting cared about like that he felt a lone tear roll down his cheek shaking his head " noo. I'm just so happy. You make me happy" he smiled tasting the salt of his tears and had to giggle when Jackson left kisses all over his forhead and eyes " Mark i think I'm in love with you" this made him throw his eyes back open . It was sudden but not unwelcomed. It was something he was feeling for a long time now. So after collecting himself he let his fingers slide over Jacksons features stopping at his chin before looking up into his eyes again " I think I'm in love with you too".


	13. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update is coming a day later. I wasn't feeling that good yesterday. Excuse the shift.   
> As always thank you for the kudos and support.   
> <3

Chapter 13

A stray of sunshine hit Marks face in the early morning and he wriggled his nose at the slight warmth that was spreading over his cheeks. Trying to stretch he realized he was laying on something soft and it made him frown. He was still quite sleep deprived so when he heaved his head up to look, a smile immediately formed on his face. Jackson was quietly snoring with his mouth open only the slightest bit. Suddenly aware of the hand on his waist he blushed . They were both completely naked and only a silk white sheet covered their bodies. Remembering last night he nuzzled his head into the crook of Jacksons neck breathing in the slight scent of sweat mixed with cologne. Thinking back to the gentle touches and fond kisses all over his body and face he felt the heat crawl up his spine. Never before was he treated so good. May it be in the way Jackson made him came undone or just showing him how much he treasured him. Not wanting to dwell in his thoughts any longer and risk waking up Jackson in the process he carefully removed himself from his hold standing up . The sheets softly fell down his pale skin making goosebumps raise all over his arms and chest. Shivering a bit he looked around remembering he didn't undress in the bedroom. He walked over to the little sideboard Jackson kept his shirts in and grabbed the first one that caught his eye. A big white T-shirt that hung down his slim frame covering his naked butt. Turning his head around again to look at Jackson he bit his nail smiling because of his luck and stepped out of the room. Deciding to wash his face real quick he walked into the bathroom gasping at the mess they left behind. Jacksons clothes were splayed all over the floor and the shower was still leaking some water. Sighing at their impulse behavior he turned it off and threw the fabric into the container before splashing some water into his face. Looking up in the mirror he had to bit his lip out of happiness. His neck was covered in little love bites making him look like some kind of art piece. 

 

Once in the kitchen he had the idea to cook some breakfast but realized they didn't have anything good at home when he opened the fridge. Tapping his chin he decided to cook some rice and make some scrambled eggs. Better than nothing. Turning on the little radio he swayed his hips to the light beat of the song that played while scratching through the pan. So into his own world Mark didn't notice the joining footsteps and the fond look that was turned towards his form. Only when he felt hands wrap around his waist did he jump a bit nearly throwing the food around. " Ja-Jackson you scared me" nonetheless he leaned against the chest behind him noticing he was naked and he had to lick his lips. Thinking about the hot musles flexing under his hands he closed his eyes whispering a " good morning" feeling his hot breath on his neck he had to sigh. It was making him feel fuzzy to be so close to the one he loved. A kiss followed and then a groggy ' good morning' . The hands wanted to wander under his shirt and Mark suddenly felt exposed. He didn't want to let Jackson find out he was naked so he pushed the hands down to his waist again " I'm trying to cook here" he chuckled hoping he would let him go. And Jackson indeed did . He let go only to turn Mark around frowning " is everything ok?" Gulping down the sudden nervousness he nooded " yes why are you asking?" . Seeing Jackson reach for his hand he let him grab it and the stroking of his thump made his tingling nerves calm down " do you feel uncomfortable when i touch you like that?" Making big eyes he shaked his head stepping forward until he was eye to eye with Jackson. Putting both of his hands on his face he nudged his nose with his own " you could never make me feel uncomfortable" he whispered kissing his lips softly " it's just that I'm.... you know.." he didn't want to spell it out . Or to be more honest he was too embarrassed so he just lifted his shirt on the side showing off his naked waist only to let it fall down again. Biting his lip he met Jacksons eyes and they were blown with lust. Feeling his hands creep up his back he was being pushed into the warmth of his naked chest before he felt him close to his ear " isn't it enough that you're wearing my shirt? Now you have to be so cute and seductive on top of that?" Blushing he put his head into the crook of Jacksons neck " sorry" feeling a gentle tug on his hair he looked up " don't be. I love it... I love you" Mark was about to say the same when he felt the soft touch of lips on his own. The kiss started sensually right away giving him no space to breath. He felt himself being pushed against the kitchen counter , the cold mamor pressing against his back . Gasping he pushed his head to the back giving Jackson the space to leave kisses down his neck " Jackson.... kiss me" he wanted to taste the sweet flavour of his mouth again. Already getting addictive. Meeting his lips hungrily Jackson tugged on his bottom lip gently making him moan deep. Drawing back Mark jumped up the counter opening his legs to pull Jackson in between . He knew how he must have looked. The shirt barely covering his dick being rilled up on the thighs and his face red because of the pleasure. The hands creeping up over his legs and stopping on the seam of his shirt made him shiver all over again.

It was such a careful move but still he felt like exploding because of the fire that burned up in his heart and whole body. Jackson stopped kissing him to look straight into his eyes and Mark was about to ask what's wrong when he felt his hands starting to lift his shirt. Taking in a breath he sobbed when the fabric just lightly stroked over his forming erection. " You're so unbelievable attractive. I will never understand how someone could hurt you like that" he heard Jackson say and he had to look to the side. This was sudden and he was overwhelmed by the feelings that rushed onto him. On the one hand he was bursting with endorphins but on the other he even if it was just for a short while had to think about Joe. The way he grabbed him harsh and bruised his skin. Closing his eyes he leaned his forhead against Jacksons " please... make love to me" he knew how he must have reacted. Jackson must have noticed his mood change and when Mark felt his hands on his cheeks he sighed relieved relishing the soft smooch that he left on his lips before he was pushed down on the counter . Reaching for his chest he let his fingers glide over every muscles that was present until he reached his shorts blindly pushing them down " just do it like that... I'm still.." not wanting to say it he hoped Jackson got the message and when he heard the ripping sound of the condom package he knew he did. He let out a nervous breath realizing it must have sounded shaky pressing his eyelids together even harder. But when he felt Jackson intertwine their hands beside his head he relaxed immediately. It was so fond and gentle he would have cried if he wanted to. Mark opened his eyes getting lost in the ones that were staring into his already and he moaned into his face biting his lips when he felt him push in . It didn't hurt but still was unpleasant the first seconds but soon enough they found a rhythm with Mark feeling every thrust getting pushed up the counter a bit. His shirt rolled up until his chest was exposed and Jackson took the opportunity to kiss and gently bite him at every spot possible that he didn't already marked. His leg moved over his shoulder changing the position the slightest and suddenly every drag over his walls made a tear appear in his eyes. The pleasure was indescribable and Mark nearly would have forgot to breath if Jackson wouldn't have kissed his nose bringing him back to the now " I'm close" he was able to say before he felt his dick pulsate and shoot over his own stomach and onto the shirt. Breathing heavily he felt Jackson still moving and he unintentionally clenched around him because of the aftermath which brought him over the edge too. Seeing him putting his head on his chest Mark stroked through his hair leaving a kiss on top of it before he felt Jackson doing the same to his collarbone. It was perfect. Everything was perfect. Starting from the feelings he awoke in him to the sex which was gentle and mindblowing. Something he never experienced before. " This was amazing. You are amazing" Jackson said holding Marks waist gently making him sit up " says the one who is treating me so unbelievable good" Mark returned leaning onto his chest "the eggs burned " he pouted looking up into his brown puppy eyes " what should we eat now?" Hearing Jackson laugh he smiled himself. He knew it wasn't important. What counted in that moment where the fond stares that were exchanged between them.

Jackson carried Mark into the bathroom and they showered together. This time for real. It was sweet and actually could have go on forever. Shampooing each others hair. The hands gliding down their bodies to distribute the gel evenly. Soft kisses in between. All over Marks face and neck. Fingers touching the hickeys as if they were proud of their work. Swaying a bit to the music from the radio Jackson had put on the sink. They realized they should step out when the whole room was full of steam , covering the mirror and clothes. Jackson wrapped them both into big fluffy bathrobes. Deciding to watch something they ordered pizza as lunch because of the failed breakfast . Mark sat down first watching Jackson walking with the carton and some drinks. He smiled without knowing why grabbing the glasses and putting them on the little table. They found something to watch rather fast but halfway in they had things that were much more interesting. Like feeding each other slices of pizza. Feet brushing over each others rubbing over the sensitive skin at the ankle. Snuggling into each others side to relish the scent of shampoo and conditioner. Mark fell asleep like that. In his bathrobe cuddled in Jacksons lap. Both arms around his neck and his head in the crook of it. And Jackson? He was staring at his sleeping face , tracing his features until he fell asleep himself with his hands around his waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's teeth rotting cute in my opinion. I actually don't know what's going on with me but the ideas just bubble out of me.   
> Hope you're excited for the next chapter. Let's say there is a lot that will happen .


	14. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

Chapter 14

The morning definitely came too early for Mark. As far as he knew they fell asleep on the couch but when he opened his eyes he felt the warmth of the blanket and Jacksons arms around him. He obviously moved them to the bed . Looking under the blanket he was still in his bathrobe but Jackson was in sweatpants and a shirt. Biting his lip out of curiosity and happiness that his now boyfriend didn't change his clothes he sat up trailing one finger over his chest and stopped at his stomach. Mark really couldn't believe his luck having someone like him by his side after all the shit he went through. Moving his other hand also onto his hips he started to tickle him. Laughing at the way Jackson jumped up wriggling around " good morning sleepyhead" Mark giggled until he was pushed into the cushions. Gasping at the sudden move he looked up into his eyes. It was quiet for a few minutes just the subtle stare between them until Jackson smiled moving closer and giving him a soft kiss. Closing his eyes he relished the soft touch. It was actually all he ever wanted. Just the feel of the one he cherished against himself. Just the slightest touch emitting all the things that were going through his mind in that exact moment. Touching his cheeks he let his fingers stroke over his nose and cheekbones taking in every detail the sun was shining on. " That tickles" Jackson said making Mark drag out from his dream state " sorry" he retreated his hand but before he could do it completely he was offered a kiss on his knuckles. Grinning at the sweet act he tried to break free rolling around " oh and now you're trying to escape?" He heard Jackson laugh nodding his head blindly jumping off the bed " that's exactly what I'm doing" running into the bathroom he locked the door chuckling at his desperate pleas having to pee . He let him inside after all having to dodge the smooch attack Jackson was trying to offer his face.

After they ate breakfast Mark was putting the dishes away. Humming to himself. He was happy without needing a reason to. Just standing here knowing he wasn't alone anymore was enough. Biting his lip he shivered when he felt Jacksons hands on his waist " I'm going to work now. Meet me at 9 at the restaurant we first met. I will invite you to dinner" thinking that was too much on his back he turned around wanting to argue but he stopped when his lips were occupied with the other ones whispering a fond ' see you later' against them. 

Mark used the extra time to get some work done. Sending it to his boss he streched his limps realizing he only had one more hour until he was supposed to meet Jackson when he looked at the clock. Jumping up he ran into the bedroom throwing on his favorite pair of skinny jeans and a longsleeved red shirt. Brushing through his hair he saw himself in the mirror and was surprised. He didn't need to put make up on . His dark circles were gone just like the pimples that appeared because of the stress. Stroking over his own cheek he smiled knowing his current relationship must have been the reason. Grabbing his long coat he stopped deciding to just take his jeans jacket. The weather was good and warm enough. Taking a cab he arrived at the restaurant at exactly 9 o clock choosing to sit in front of it on the large stone bank. It wouldn't take long until Jackson would show up , right?.

Oh how wrong he was. The clock made his next click and it was already past 10. Meanwhile Mark was still sitting wondering if he heard Jackson wrong that morning. Taking his phone out he couldn't reach him seemingly having it on airplane mode. Sighing he decided to wait another half an hour but his plans were thwarted. The sudden rain was dropping down his clothes immediately sinking into the fabric and touching his naked skin. Shivering at the cold he walked towards the street holding his hand out for a cab but no one was in sight. Even after 5 minutes all that passed him was a limousine dropping off an older pair. Frowning he began to walk home glad it wasn't that far away. Mark didn't want to but he was angry . Not even a message or a call to say it would get late or didn't work out. He scratched his neck sneezing when a sudden shiver run up his spine. He was drenched completely from head to toe .

 

When he finally arrived at the front door he could hear the tv and a bunch of emotions crashed upon him . Disappointment, anger , sadness. All at once . And it made him unlock the door as fast as he could. Right in front of him was Jackson sitting on the couch eating some fruits. Not believing the situation he coughed wanting to get his attention and it worked. He turned around only to jump up and run over " omg what happened? Is it still raining?" scoffing he crossed his arms " are you serious right now?" He hissed looking him straight in the eyes. " Wh-what do you mean? Why are you angry?" Jackson answered and his bluntness ticked Mark off making him take off his jacket " are you kidding me? You said we were going to eat outside tonight. At 9. I waited 2 hours in front of the stupid restaurant walking home through the rain because i couldn't get a cab and then i see you chilling on the couch?" He was breathing heavily brushing his wet hair off his face waiting for any kind of reaction but what he didn't expect was Jackson to huff " I'm sorry? Like I'm really sorry i had to stay longer at work because of a meeting and i forgot about the dinner" it was honest and maybe a bit too much for Marks liking " is that all? I was freezing my ass off. I'm still freezing like crazy" still not believing the situation he walked into the kitchen hearing Jacksons footsteps follow him " listen i know this is shit-" turning around he was boiling with anger " yes it is! More than that . I'm disappointed and hurt. This is the worst" one could literally feel the tension between them. The anger was rising on both sides . Mark could see Jackson throw his hand up and he flinched out of reflex. Regretting it the second he didn't hear a single thing no more. Opening his eyes he saw a devastated face which was drawn in complete shock " did you think i was about to hit you?" He heard him ask and his voice was emitting so much hurt Mark had to wince visibly " I'm sorry...i saw your hand and i.." not knowing what to say he closed his eyes. He instinctively thought he would get hit and he immediately felt bad knowing Jackson would never do that " I'm sor-" he stopped when he saw him sighing into his hands " i can't do this right now ... I ... I will sleep at Jinyoungs place" with that he saw him grab his coat and walk out of the apartment and Mark felt stupid. Even more than that. He hated himself for acting like that. Sliding down the kitchen counter because his legs couldn't hold him up anymore he cried. So hard he forgot to breath. His lungs clogged up making him gasp for air but he calmed down at least a little bit until only silent tears fell down his small face dripping onto his wet clothes. And he stared into nothing. Getting lost in the bliss of sleep taking over him.


	15. I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please bear with me. I promise it's not as bad as it seems and we will be off to some great stuff.
> 
> As always thank you soo much for the support <3

Chapter 15

Mark didn't know where he was nor what time the clock was showing. The only thing he was sure of was that the sun rising once again. Still sitting on the floor he looked at his hands which stopped shaking only a few minutes ago. Slowly getting out of his trance he realized he was cold as an ice block and his legs felt liks beton. Carefully standing up he turned his head towards the door having hoped the whole time Jackson would come through it again. Sighing he trotted into the bathroom deciding to take a shower when he saw himself in the mirror. Nearly starting to cry again he touched his cheeks which were red because of exhaustion. It was mostly his fault but still he wished Jackson would have stayed understanding his behavior even if it would hurt more than running away. Not wanting to dwell in his thoughts he jumped under the hot water trying to relax . He got lost in staring at the white tiles remembering the time Jackson gently pushed him against them leaving kisses all over his neck. Reaching up to stroke over the hickey he knew was still there he had to bite his lip to not start crying again. The overwhelming feel of happiness was knocking on his heart and he realized it can't start like his last relationship ended. With fear. Opening his eyes he turned the water off stepping out and getting dressed. It couldn't go on like this. Escaping uncomfortable situations and hurting people he loves in the process. Even if this time it was different Mark took the initiative. Getting dressed he grabbed his long coat walking towards Jinyoungs apartment. The sudden motivation to take the matter in his own hands felt good. He felt good and he knew Jackson was mostly the reason for his change. He put him together again. It would take a long time until he would be able to move on from all the memories but he knew with him by his side it was possible. Smiling to himself he sped up a bit stopping in front of the restaurant they met the first time. The sky was clear and the sun shined on the logo making him blink twice to be able to read it. Deciding to get some coffee he walked inside knowing Jackson loved the caramel machiatto. 

The interior didn't change one bit and it made him feel nostalgic. The fuzzy feeling of content bubbled up his throat making him greet the waiter with the biggest smile he could offer. While ordering he looked around seeing a young couple talking and he had to smile until he recognized the man. It was Jackson. Overwhelmed with the chance to talk right in this moment he suddenly got nervous brushing his hands on his jeans to get rid of the sweat. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes walking over. "Jacks-" stopping in his tracks he thought he was about to faint. The girl was kissing him. She was kissing Jackson. Opening his mouth and closing it again because his throat was dry suddenly he let his hands fall to his hands. Flashbacks to the time Joe was together with Jessica came into his mind clouding his thoughts. Why did he have to see the same thing now with the person he thought was the one for him. Why? 

Hiccuping on the tears that trickled out of his eyes he blinked. How long was he standing here? No longer able to recognize the people in front of him he flinched when he heard his order number. Turning his head towards the waiter he whispered a little "sorry" before rushing out of the restaurant. He felt his whole world crash onto him again . How was it possible he always did the same mistake? Choosing the people who would leave him in the blink of an eye. Maybe he didn't deserve to be happy. His heart ached at the thought making his feet move into the direction of his home. "His home" he laughed bitterly realizing it never was his. Once there he packed a few things not caring how the clothes landed on the floor making everything look terrible. He had to escape the pressure and tension making him wander off to things he didn't want to feel. The first option he could think of was the hotel he once ran to when Joe became unbearable. Taking a cab towards it he booked a room letting himself fall onto the uncomfortable bed in the instant he closed the door. It was all too much. He was ready to open himself up to Jackson talking about his fears and then he had to go and break his already damaged heart again. He thought he loved him. He hoped he could finally be able to get happy but maybe he was expecting too much. Who would want someone as complicated as him? . Curling up into himself he put the blanket over his body not getting warm at all. It was freezing and he felt the emptiness of not being able to hug the person who would make everything better.

 

7 days. One week. He stayed in the hotel. Didn't contact anybody. He called in sick at work ignoring all the calls from Jinyoung and Jackson. Everytime his phone vibrated and showed the name of the person who stole his heart he had to close his eyes holding back the want to take the call. To just read the message but he decided to stay strong even if it hurt like hell. In this time he barely ate anything. The breakfast was terrible and as lunch he only had some ramen. One could see it on his face that he lost some weight. His eyes were red from the amount of time he cried. He couldn't even count the hours he didn't. But he knew he couldn't stay here forever that's why today was the day he checked out. Taking his little bag with nearly no clothes in it and walked into the cold air . The weather was bad. All cloudy and somehow that made him laugh. It was just like his mood. Not knowing where he should go he decided to go eat something . And his feet dragged him again to the place it all started. A sudden wave of icy wind made him let his bag let go and hold onto his arms instead. The only thing he was wearing was a thin coat letting the air hit his collarbones directly. Closing his eyes he leaned down to grab his things when another pair of hands already leaned down grabbing it. Wanting to thank the person he looked up into eyes that were staring back into his own ones and he froze. Suddenly everything around him came to an halt . The car honks and rustling leaves were no longer in his vision. All he could concentrate on was the face in front of him. The face of the one who broke his heart. "Wh-why.." he was able to say when he felt strong arms taking him into a hug. A sudden rush of memories crashed onto him . Seeing flashes of soft touches and gentle kisses and he was crying without noticing it. But what he noticed was the other body shuddering against him crying just as hard. " Please ...please let me go" he knew he would fall back into his arms the instant he would be able to feel his lips against his own but he decided to stay stronger this time. Seeing Jackson draw back he looked into his eyes and they were the same as always. Brown and strong. Full of emotions. " Where have you been? I went crazy searching for you everywhere" he said with a raspy voice making Mark wince at the hurt it was emitting "i couldn't stay. You broke my heart.... You know ... i saw you. That day in the restaurant when you kissed that girl" he was able to say brushing the tears away with his sleeve. The cold air collided with his wet skin sending shiver down his spine. And the sudden change of expression on Jackson made him frown himself " i was kissed Mark. Oh my god...this is a huge misunderstanding.. I'm sorry" he cried . Looking up to the sky he gulped down the fear his heart was trying to let out of his mouth " how?" . It was quiet for a minute before Jackson spoke up again " she was my ex and she wanted me back. I said no and she kissed me . I immediately pushed her away and when i heard the ring of the doorbell i turned around. I don't know why but i somehow knew it was you . And when the waiter put away a caramel machiatto i knew i was right. I searched for you everywhere. And when i didn't find you i knew i fucked up big time" Mark couldn't believe what he just heard. It was different this time. Jackson didn't cheat and he didn't know how to handle the situation. His life being decorated with disappointment this was new. Breathing heavily he mumbled a " I'm sorry" crying even harder if it was possible until he felt a hand on his cheek. And this time he didn't flinch or drew back. He knew those hands would never hurt him. " Why are you sorry? I'm the one who screwed up. In this time you were away i realized how hopelessly in love i am with you. I couldn't even sleep without feeling your body in my arms. The warmth of you . You're..... You're everything to me" that hit deep and Mark was surprised he didn't break down in that instant . Falling towards into his arms he pushed his head into Jacksons chest hiccuping " I'm sorry for running away and making up things i didn't know the truth about. I thought you cheated on me. I thought i would be alone again.." feeling his hands on his back he calmed down a bit " don't apologize you had every right to think that . But let me say one thing... I will never leave you alone. You're the most important person in my life . I never loved someone as much as i love you. With every fiber of my body" his words were like medicine to his broken heart. He knew he was safe in those arms. The arms of the one he loves like no one else . Putting his hands on his shoulders he looked up through tears " i love you too. So much. I can't even breath properly when your not around. You changed me. You healed me " seeing Jackson holding back the quivering of his lips he smiled gently. He could see in his eyes and face that he was being honest. Every word was the truth and it lifted the stone on his heart. " I love you so much" Jackson was able to say before Mark kissed him straight on the lips. Relishing the taste of salt that were the proof of their emotions. Sighing when he felt his hands on his back he moved his own into Jacksons hair stroking along the roots and loving the softness of his brown locks against his palms. "I love you too" Mark said in between kisses. It was more than perfect. He could easily stay this way forever if the weather wouldn't be so freezing. Shuddering he leaned his head against Jacksons forhead whispering " please take me home".

Once there he didn't know how it happend but he was pressed against the wall feeling Jacksons hands all over his body . Moaning at the hotness of his tounge on his collarbone he scratched over his back gently until he could feel his lips against his own again. Their movements were desperate and full of want. It was everything Mark could have wished for being able to feel the love of his life so close again. Pulling Jacksons jacket down his arms gently he unbuttoned his own letting it fall to the ground. Suddenly being heaved up by strong arms he threw his legs around Jacksons waist throwing his head back in laughter " you're crazy" when he suddenly felt lips on his neck marking the sensitive skin right under his chin "hah.." he sighed closing his eyes and openend them again when he was able to feel the softness of their mattress under him. Jackson was looking into his eyes and he had to smile. He couldn't contain the tear that rolled down his face. This time because of happiness. Putting his hands on his cheeks he pulled him down " i love you" before kissing him again. It was soft and he somehow just wanted him close. Pulling him on the bed completely he put his head on his chest and his leg in-between Jacksons " please let's stay this way.. forever" he whispered the last part but Jackson still heard it dragging one hand over Marks back until it stopped on his waist and he was able to feel a fond kiss on his hair " yeah...forever".


	16. The talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

Chapter 16

Black. That was everything he was able to see. Darkness surrounded his eyes. A sudden pull on his arm made him see a flash of light and the door where it was coming from. Pulling free from the hold he ran towards the stream hearing a familiar voice. His heart made a jump pushing the old door open until he was able to see Jackson. He was just standing there smiling at him but when Mark tried to get closer the distance between them seemed to grow. With every step he took Jackson unconsciously stepped one back. He couldn't come closer no matter how hard he tried and then the dark rushed over him again swallowing his love and leaving him all alone . It was suddenly hard to breathe his eyes flickered around not being able to even catch a glimpse of something different than the dark. Falling to his knees he clutched his heart sobbing with every breath he took. When suddenly he moved around. Not by his own but because of someone else. A different person was shaking his shoulders and the eyes he closed in the process of crying fell open seeing the ceiling and soft light surrounding the room he obviously was in. Breathing heavily he slowly sat up realizing he was still crying. Hiccuping he looked around locking eyes with Jackson who was sitting in front of him looking so worried " Mark it was only a dream. I'm here" he said stroking over his cheek. And suddenly he realized it didn't happen for real. Biting his quivering lip he leaned forward hugging Jacksons waist " i was so scared. I thought i lost you" feeling a hand stroke through his hair he calmed down a bit " pshhh it's okay. You won't lose me. I'm here ok?" Nodding into his shirt he wrapped his arms around his neck dragging his fingers over the soft hair " ok" his voice was hoirse and he actually winced a bit when it sounded scratchy. " What did you dream?" The question caught him off guard pulling back to dry his eyes with his sleeve " i was walking towards you but i never seemed to make it to you. The distance grew until you vanished and i was all alone" looking into his eyes he was greeted with such great fondness he felt his body heat up with happiness " you're not alone ok? I'm by your side and i won't leave " this actually made a smile form on his lips and he was able to go to sleep again with Jackson at his side holding him so tight he was able to feel every breath against his back.

He knew they had to talk. It was important and something that would help their relationship a lot but still he was scared . Scared to show all his insecurities and fears. But seeing Jackson holding his hand moving his thumb so gently over his knuckles he knew he could do it. Taking a deep breath he squeezed his hand before speaking up " i have many fears. One of them is getting hit again. That's why i flinched when you raised your hand. Even though you just scratched your neck. I want to change but it's hard. Another thing is that I'm having low self esteem. It was totally crumbled in the years i was together with Joe and I'm sorry if it's annoying but sometimes i just can't accept the way i look" he sighed a breath of relief. It felt good showing his most sensitive spots to Jackson. Looking up again he smiled " i want to change. For you. To be honest you already changed me in so many aspects that i thought weren't possible. You make he happy without doing anything. Just seeing your smile or feel your arms around me make me feel like i have everything" he actually was amazed by the cheesiness but not ashamed because it was true. " Wow... What should i say that i didn't already tell you?" Jackson chuckled " first of all I'm not perfect either. I can act impulsive sometimes without understanding the situation first but i also want to change that for you. Because i love you . I never loved someone before like the way i do love you. It's crazy actually. Just hearing your voice makes butterflies fly around in my stomach. Every damn time. And i hope it will never change" they looked at each other intensly before Mark pulled on their intertwined fingers " now that we talked about everything can you just kiss me? I want to feel you close. Knowing this is indeed happening right now " he smiled and it grew even bigger when he felt his lips against his own. The tender touch didn't last long though with Mark getting pushed down the couch gently. They kissed with nothing between them. No barrier holding them back and it was perfect. Mark sighed moving his feet over Jacksons thigh stroking gently over it while relishing the feel of his lips that tasted like the hot chocolate they had as breakfast . Pulling away when his breath cut short he smiled nuding his nose against Jacksons " i love you" " hmm i love you too. And this place " a kiss on his forhead " and this " another kiss on his neck " and....this" a kiss on his lips he immediately answered with a low whine when he felt his tounge on them. He opened his mouth willingly just waiting for the moment their muscles would dance together. Moving his hands under Jacksons loose tshirt he glided them over his muscles wanting to go even further when the phone rang making both sit up at the same time and crash their head together " ow" Mark gasped closing his eyes " I'm sorry" he heard Jackson say before he answered the call. It seemed to be Jinyoung by the way his voice calmed down " yes ... Oh that sounds great . Ok we will come. See you later" Mark frowned tapping his shoulder and giving him a quizzical look " he is having a garden party later. Asked if we want to come and i said yes" of course Mark wouldn't be against meeting with his best friend so he just nodded giving him one last smooch before standing up " ok then let's get ready".

 

The sky was so clear Mark was able to count every star that appeared on the endless ocean of darkness. The party was rather small. He almost knew everyone but right now he was sitting on a bench looking up while the rest was chatting away. The little fairylights all around the trees were magical and he could have gotten lost in them if a hand on his shoulder didn't pull him back to reality " it seems to be ok between you two again?" Jinyoung said sitting down beside him. Mark smiled searching for his eyes " yes. We talked and we're good again. More than good actually" turning his view towards the mass of people he searched for Jacksons until he found him laughing at something. And he had to smile himself. "You.." turning his head around back to his friend he raised his eyebrows in question " you really love him right?" that made him blush a bit " y-yes . I love him. My feelings are growing by day. It's crazy how happy he makes me " hearing a low hum he chuckled " that is good to hear. To be honest i was hoping from the start you two would come together. Jackson was crushing on you so bad the first time you met him. He literally had heart eyes the whole time" Mark smiled moved by the words " I know that look. He shows it to me everyday" it was probably super embarrassing but he didn't care. Seeing Jackson walk towards them he pushed his hair behind his hair unconsciously like some love struck teenager " hello beautiful i was wondering if you would want to dance with me?" Biting his lips he nodded standing up and taking the hand that was offered. 

The grass was soft between their feet and with every twirl Jackson made Mark do he could hear the rustling of it. It was oddly satisfying. The way their hands slided over each others waists and up again to stroke over cheeks and noses was soft . Mark made big eyes when Jackson suddenly pulled him into his chest dragging his arms over his shoulders and he naturally closed them behind his neck. There was no place for air between them. Their chests moved in sync with every breath and their eyes were so close Mark could make out every spot of his iris. Putting his head on his shoulder he never felt so content before. " I like this. Being so close to you " he said leaving a soft kiss on his neck before he felt Jackson froze " actually there is something i want to ask you" pulling back he stared in his eyes again " ok. Ask me" he could see the nervousness in his eyes and how his mouth openend at least 5 times and suddenly he was also feeling nervous. He didn't know why but somehow he thought he knew what was about to happen when Jackson opened his mouth searching with one hand in his pocket " i wanted to know if you-" but he couldn't answer when Jinyoung joined them dragging their bodies towards the buffet. The conversation was forgotten fast but Mark couldn't shake off the feeling that it was something important. He stared at Jackson finding his eyes and smiled. Whatever it was he would ask again right?.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :D


	17. That moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So cheesy. I'm sorry:D

Chapter 17

3 months. And Jackson didn't ask again . Today marked the day they met for the first time. 1 year. Actually Mark was scared to make a big thing out of it . Maybe Jackson wasn't the kind to celebrate such stuff. Still he bought him a bracelet. Brown. The same colour as his eyes. When Mark was walking through the city he saw it in one of the big windows next to the shopping mall. It immediately reminded him of the fond look Jackson always offered him. Those chocolate pupils which always knew what he needed the most. Walking into the store he bought it and kept it in his bag until now. Sitting on the bed he looked beside himself where Jackson was still snoring soundly. Not being able to resist he leaned his head onto his chest leaving kisses on the skin that was exposed right under his collarbone " Jack wake up" he whispered gently and smiled when he could see his eyes flutter open. Putting both his hands on his cheeks he stroked over the skin softly giving him a kiss on the lips " good morning" seeing him smile made his heartbeat quicken " i have something for you" . Jackson sat up rubbing his eyes and nodded " ok. I'm ready" . Mark let out a nervous breath leaning down to grab the bag when he felt a hand on his butt " what do you think you're doing?" He asked looking over his shoulder only to see Jackson shrug " support. Don't want you to fall down" and that actually made him crack up a bit. Suddenly not as nervous as before he reached for the present sitting back up. Looking at the package briefly he handed it over " happy anniversary" and the silence actually made him nervous to say the least. Jackson held his hand smiling at him before taking the box . Unwrapping it Mark didn't know if he liked it so he just asked to excited to just wait " do you like it?" " I love it" that made him giggle and the sudden pull on his neck left him gasping . " I love you" a soft kiss on his lips made him sigh " i love you too" . They stayed that way for a while. Just faint touches on exposed skin and nudging noses until Jackson spoke up again " i also have something for you but" he pulled away and Mark enjoyed the hand caressing his cheek " you have to wait until tonight" pouting a bit he nooded " i will be patient" .

Jackson left for work after they had breakfast and Mark had the house to himself. It was Saturday so he didn't have to work but his anxiousness for what was waiting for him made him crazy. Biting his nails he stopped himself taking a deep breath. Deciding to wash the dishes he did just that but was finished way too early. Stroking through his hair he trotted to the bathroom to take a shower. He had one just yesterday but he wanted to look perfect. Once done he put on his finest choice of clothes . A dark blue pair of jeans combined with a velvety blouse. Taking a peek at the clock he sighed relieved knowing it was almost time to meet up . Grabbing the keys and his purse he stepped out of the house shivering at the air that hit him. It was in no way cold but still he seemed to be sensitive. Maybe it was his nervousness.

They met up in the park right in front of the restaurant they talked the first time. Jackson was wearing a dark red coat and Marks breath got stuck in his throat. He was looking hot and he couldn't believe his luck. Hugging him tightly he kissed his lips before Jackson intertwined their hands starting to walk to the many trees standing beside each other and throwing a shadow upon the streets " let's walk for a bit ok?" Mark nodded relishing the feel of the heat radiating from the body next to him. Moving his thumb over their hands he layed his head onto Jacksons shoulder listening to the wind before he could feel him cough " ok i wanted to tell you something. But let me start at the beginning" Mark moved his head away looking at his face " ok i'm listening". Seeing Jackson lick his lips he knew he must be nervous " the first time i saw you i felt like i was struck by lightning. Your eyes were the thing i got lost in immediately and i wanted to get to know you better. With time my feelings grew stronger and i felt bad for liking you when you were in a relationship but then the thing with Joe happend and i couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to protect you so when you moved in with me it was really really hard to hold myself back. Everytime i saw you just in your pajamas my heart made a jump. It's actually my favorite look on you. That tosseled hair of yours makes something with me i can't describe" Mark had to chuckle at that, moved by his speech " well either way i screwed up letting myself lead by my feelings. But you don't know what a huge stone fell from my heart getting to know you feel the same. I never once before was this happy. You make me so indescribably happy it's crazy" .

 

Mark didn't realize they were long gone from the park only noticing the familiar surrounding of their street when Jackson stopped in his tracks turning around to take both of his hands " i love you. I love being with you just sleeping away the hours. To feel you close everyday is a blessing. To be able to move my hands through your hair whenever i want and get a taste of your lips is something i don't want to miss. I love every fiber of you. From the scar on your thigh to the eyelashes that are not the same length. Every part of you is perfect and i want to be able to say that everyday of my life " sometime between his words it started to rain but Mark didn't care. He was dragged in by his words and his stomach twisted already knowing what was about to happen. The tears that rolled down his face were connecting themselves with the raindrops and the only thing he could concentrate on were those fond eyes boring holes into his own. " Mark.. that's why i want to ask you something" Jackson moved down on one leg and Mark had to put a hand over his mouth to not sob loudly " do you want to give me the honour of marrying me?" Closing his eyes he fell to his knees not caring about the hard ground he wrapped his arms around his neck making them both tumble onto the street " yes.. yes i want to. I love you " he sobbed looking into his eyes before Jackson moved up a little connecting their lips. It was crazy. They were laying on the ground in the middle of the street rain landing on every part of their bodies. But they didn't care, all that counted and was important in that moment were the emotions that were exchanged. 

 

After a while they sat up again with Mark rubbing his eyes dry " you made me cry. It's the first time I'm crying because of a good reason" he smiled looking up to see Jackson hold a little box in his hands " can i make it official now?" Shaking his head yes he streched out his hand towards him to let him slip on the silver ring onto his finger. The piece of metal was cold against his skin but didn't win over the warmth that spread throughout his whole body. Hiccuping on the upcoming tears he held the hand towards the light from the street lamp " you don't know how happy i am right now" " i guess the same as me. I can't describe what I'm feeling right now" Jackson returned helping him up " we probably should go home or else we will be sick tomorrow" Mark smiled kissing his cheek " doesn't sound that bad to me. We could cuddle all day in bed" that earned him another kiss on the lips before they started to walk towards their apartment. And towards a new chapter of their lives.


	18. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's coming 2 days too late. I celebrated my birthday yesterday so i was like nonstop doing something.   
> But now i can post again.  
> Hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Ps . Don't cry :')

Chapter 18

The sun streamed through the big window of the room making it look warm and inviting. And the warmth actually calmed down Marks nerves. He was trotting around the room nervousness biting at his mind. Looking into the mirror he fixed his tie for the hundredth time before he heard a knock on the door. Seeing Jinyoung come inside he smiled before it faltered again " are you ok?" He actually had to laugh at that " no I'm not. I feel like fainting" Jinyoung moved towards him taking him in a hug " i know. But we have to get going now. Your soon to be husband is waiting. And at least 50 other people" Mark chuckled hugging him back before looking one last time in the mirror nodding " ok let's do this".

 

The whole room was decorated with white flowers. They were hanging from the ceiling and standing all around the place making it look like some beautiful garden. The little fairylights hanging in them were magical and Mark actually had to gulp thinking back to the time he and Jackson danced getting lost in their own world. Everybody was staring at him when he stepped inside with his father by his side but the only eyes he met were those of the love of his life. He was standing there just staring back and Mark was sure he already was crying. Hell he was so close himself. Slowly walking down the aisle his smile grew bigger as closer as he came. Once there he immediately took Jackson hand " hi" he said before he felt soft lips against his own " hi".

Saying their vows was making both emotional and Mark could see Jackson not being able to hold back his tears when he said his own " Mark, my love, i don't know where to start. First of all i love you. To the moon and beyond. You're everything i ever wanted. My life is so much better since you stepped inside and i actually can't imagine it without you. Every second spend with you feels like a eternity and I'm so grateful for that. Being able to look into your beautiful eyes everyday and see the love you offer is one of the best gifts i could ask for. I swear i will never hurt or leave you. I want to be with you. Forever" it was really hard to not cry but Mark was strong biting his lip while squeezing his hand . Once he was the one to talk he blinked a few times collecting himself before he started " Jackson , my love, you're the one who changed me. The one who made my life change completely. In the most satisfying and happiest way . You saved me to be honest and made me realize again that I'm allowed to love. To be able to love you. I'm so glad Jinyoung introduced us. I would never give away the time we spent together. It's precious and I'm so excited to spent even more together. Forever" he smiled once he was finished turning back to the priest who asked for them to kiss and it was so perfect in that moment. The people getting all emotional behind them, the lights making the flowers around them shine and when he looked into that perfect round brown eyes he felt a rush of emotions all bubbling up in him. They didn't plan anything special but when Jackson stepped forward towards him to push him over in his arms he couldn't hide the surprise on his face. Smilling he reached a hand towards his cheek stroking over it before they met in the middle for a soft kiss tasting each others happiness.

The party was not huge. They only invited the people they were the closest with. Sitting beside each other Mark knew they soon had to make their wedding dance. Jackson said 3 month prior that he would plan something special so when he felt a hand squeezing his own he knew it was time. " Mark let's go to the dance floor. Time for our wedding dance" nodding he stood up following him before they were standing in the middle of the room all eyes on them. Seeing Jackson nod towards the dj he bit his lip holding back his laughter " wow so secretive" Jackson just smiled and Mark closed his eyes feeling him give him a kiss on the nose " you will see" and at that moment he could hear the music. The song his husband choose for them.

You know I want you  
It's not a secret I try to hide  
I know you want me  
So don't keep saying our hands are tied  
You claim it's not in the cards  
And fate is pulling you miles away  
And out of reach from me  
But you're here in my heart  
So who can stop me if I decide  
That you're my destiny?

 

What if we rewrite the stars?  
Say you were made to be mine  
Nothing could keep us apart  
You'd be the one I was meant to find  
It's up to you, and it's up to me  
No one can say what we get to be  
So why don't we rewrite the stars?  
Maybe the world could be ours  
Tonight

 

Not being able to even think straight he looked up into his eyes knowing he was crying like a baby. Everything about this song remembered him of their time together. It was perfect. Everything was and he couldn't hold back his emotions. " This is beautiful " he hiccuped noticing Jackson stop their swaying he frowned before he felt his hands on his cheeks pulling him in for a kiss he immediately returned. " I love you" " i love you too so much" . Once the song ended they didn't even hear the clapping of the guest all they could concentrate on was the love in each others eyes. It was crazy. Mark never thought he could feel such strong emotions but Jackson changed him so much. 

 

The guests still partied on when the couple left for their honeymoon. The car ride was filled with subtle touches on thighs and Mark was feeling such a huge want it was embarrassing. He didn't even look him into the eyes not trusting himself for just jumping him. Once at their hotel Jackson pulled on his wrist taking the lift and started kissing down his neck. Mark sighed stepping back until he was at the wall grabbing at his jacket " babe not here" he knew his voice was in no way commanding. He was enjoying every moment of feeling his lips on every inch of his skin. Moaning at a particular hard suck right behind his ear he let his mouth fall open shrieking up when he heard the familiar bing of the doors. They jumped away from each other so fast they immediately had to laugh. Running towards their room Jackson stuck the card inside opening it before pulling Mark inside. " I want to touch you" Mark nooded biting his lip " me too . I want to feel you" they looked into each others eyes before their lips met in a breathtaking kiss. Their tounges tangled together in the dirtiest way but they couldn't care less. Closing his eyes Mark jumped up onto Jackson whispering into his ear " carry me to bed " before he began to kiss his neck he only stopped when he felt soft sheets under his back. 

The headrest of the bed was knocking onto the walls with every thrust of Jackson into Mark. They were both sweating like crazy and Mark was a moaning mess feeling so close to getting undone. " Fuck babe it feels so good" he screamed out when Jackson hit his sweet spot and he wrapped his legs around his waist pushing him inside even deeper " please don't stop" he could see Jackson come closer until he felt his lips on his " never". Suddenly he stopped his thrusts completely pulling out before laying down beside him pushing Mark on his side to be able to lay behind him. Mark gasped when he felt him push in again and he opened his legs as wide as possible in that position putting one over Jacksons . The position made everything even more intense. They were so close he was able to feel his heartbeat and his breath on his neck. Moving down a hand towards his erection he felt Jacksons hand being quicker. Moaning loud he grabbed the pillow fisting it and he had to cry out of pleasure. He completely got lost in the feeling and reached over towards Jacksons head with his other hand pulling on his hair gently " I'm so close hah.." he whined before he could feel his moves also getting erratic. " I'm close too" . It didn't took long for both to come undone . Breathing harshly through his mouth Mark winced a bit when Jackson pulled out. Laying onto his back again he looked at him " that was the best sex I've ever had" seeing him smile he had to do it himself " it's because i love you so much. I will never stop treating you like a prince. You deserve every minute of it" Mark was crying again scooting closer into his arms before wrapping his own around his waist " i would never want anyone else by my side. You're my first real love. My favorite kind of love" looking at each other once again they kissed. This time soft and fond. They fell asleep that way with just a sheet covering their intertwined bodies feeling each others warmth and knowing this would be something they will be able to feel everyday of their lifes. Forever.

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crying big fat tears. This is the end i hope you like it. I'm so glad you joined me on this trip. Hating and feeling everything Mark went through. 
> 
> Love you and thank you for the continuous support <3
> 
> Ps. The lyrics are from the song " rewrite the stars". It's from the more than fantastic movie " the greatest showman" . You have to watch it if you haven't already. Every song of it makes me so emotional. And this one is my favorite.


End file.
